Doughnuts

Doughnuts

I like doughnuts. I think they are best with coffee. Especially in the morning. But late morning is also good. When I have to drive long distances, there is nothing I like to do better than to stop early in the trip and purchase coffee and doughnuts ‘to go.’ It makes the trip a whole lot shorter to munch on doughnuts while watching the miles slide by.

The other times I like doughnuts are just before bedtime. My digestive system seems to need something to help me go to sleep at night; nothing does quite so well in sending me off to dreamland than a glass of milk, accompanied, of course, with a doughnut.

Actually, I think just about anytime is a good time for a doughnut. Today, for example, our power went off early in the morning. We wandered around the house for awhile, trying to grope our way to the bathroom and other essential places in the dark. Then one of us, I can’t remember if it was me or my favorite live-in companion, suggested making a trip to town to see if anyone in business had power. So, we did. Nearly all the shops were closed because of no power. To our surprise, our local purveyor of doughnuts was open, ready to sell us each a doughnut, which we couldn’t resist. Just so you don’t think I am fixated exclusively on doughnuts, I should tell you that we also ended up purchasing two fritters that we promised each other not to eat until tomorrow.

So, what is my beef that prompts me to write about doughnuts? My problem is spelling. As a wordsmith, I am obliged to warn that many people and businesses are polluting our language by no longer calling them by their rightful name, doughnuts, a perfectly appropriate name since they are made mostly from dough and sugar. Instead, our hurry-up society has found a shortcut; donuts. I think this name became popular when one of my favorite purveyors “Dunkin Donuts” began making signs all across the country that listed their products as ‘donuts.’ I believe the word doughnuts was too big for their signs.

The problem with donut is that it sounds too close to ‘don’t (eat) nuts.’ This is an anathema to me since one of my favorites is a nutty doughnut, although I like just about every kind of doughnut.

Sadly, doughnuts have a bad press. I think the medical profession in America is responsible. They seem to think that a product loaded with fat and sugar is bad for us. Especially for one of advanced age like me. I think it has more to do with the upbringing that most doctors were subjected to. My theory is that all doctors had demanding mothers who told them at least a thousand times, ‘don’t eat that, its not good for you.’ Not eating doughnuts must have been high on their list of things to avoid since they are difficult to make at home.

You probably don’t know what the Hippocratic Oath is: You know, that oath that all doctors have to swear that they will always tell their patients about. I don’t know what it is either, but I believe it has something to do with fat and sugar and doughnuts and arteries, and it says something like they heard from their mothers “If you eat this, you will begin to look like a hippopotamus.” At least, that’s my theory and I’m sticking with it.