Microsoft, HP and Me

You probably don’t know me as a computer geek. That’s because I’m not. Oh sure, I can write a blog or two and I have a few books to my credit, all prepared by me on my laptop. And I do the usual e-mails, surf the web, prepare my taxes, play bridge, (by the way, the machine happens to be female) and keep files on her where I can find them. Make that, occasionally find them.

The secret to my success is that I ‘ve been doing these things on the same laptop for several years. I had something of a love -hate relationship with her since we spent so much time together. It was a surprise when she recently fell out of love with me. The reason for our split-up was that her battery gave out. It began slowly enough when she stopped providing service for more than a few minutes, before she sent me a note asking for power. I ignored her message for several weeks, make that a few months, before she finally became adamant and sent Hewlett Packard after me. It was a wake-up call when HP sent a message saying I should contact them because the battery was worn out.

I thought it was no big deal. I’d go down to the hardware store, lay out a couple bucks for a battery and bingo, we’d be back in love. Little did I know. I soon learned that HP cleverly used a battery in my computer that is not available from anyone else, and the price for a new one from them, is roughly equivalent to the price for a used car. Now I know why I never liked that Fiorina lady during the Republican debates.

I should also tell you that for the past year or more, my trusty computer had been sending me messages about Windows 10. The messages were from Microsoft and they said the world would probably end if I didn’t soon change from my old Windows 7 to Windows 10. Besides, they said, it was FREE.

Armed with these facts, I decided to go shopping at my favorite discount store where I purchased a new laptop that I hoped would be similar to my old one. I can’t tell you much about it except to say it is a humdinger, loaded with good stuff, according to HP. AND IT HAS WINDOWS 10, the sticker almost shouted at me. And, I almost forgot, a touch screen.

I have had the machine for a few weeks and now I understand why Microsoft has been pushing Windows 10 so vigorously. It’s because they think they can sell you MORE STUFF. Windows 10 was developed by 13 year-olds who don’t like older people. They put all this neat, new stuff on it that is for sale. Each thing looks enticing, each thing requires a monthly subscription to join, or buy. The free stuff that I used routinely on my old machine is now hidden, often somewhere behind all the for sale stuff. I tried to find things by using the touch screen and that was a mistake-- the computer acted like I had touched her inappropriately, changing the entire desktop. I swear I haven’t touched her screen since she slapped me.

Nothing on the new machine seems to work the same as the old machine. Each task requires a leaning session followed by a period of trial and error. To add further insult, I quickly learned that the new machine was loaded with a temporary Windows Office package and wouldn’t I like to subscribe to the new Windows Office before my free trial version expires in 30 days? I can’t even write a blog with the new machine? Oh, how I pined for my old girl, she with the failing battery. Even now, I can see her sitting unattended in my basement office, probably waiting for me to turn her on and caress her keys with the faded letters.

But, here I am, writing my first blog on the machine with Windows 10 idling in the background, probably lying in wait to foul things up because I haven’t purchased anything since the new Windows Office that I sprung for at three times the cost of the old one. I have little expectation that you will ever see this because I probably will be unable to save it, find it, post it, and share it. I hope you have a nice day. I’ll be here wrestling with my new laptop.