The Big Tree

 

The Big Tree

 You may know that I live in a place where the single most prominent feature of our environment is our wonderful array of forest lands. The forests have come to us honestly; the upper part of Michigan was the principal supplier of wood for lumber during a 35-year period of our history, supplying logs for lumber across the Midwest. The customers for all those Michigan logs were the growing cities across the farmlands in the middle of the country, and industrial centers where forests were absent. Chicago deserves especial mention as it was both a customer and a distributor of Michigan logs as our wood helped build that city and others in the early years when virtually all buildings were made of wood.

Those days are gone along with the great stands of white pine, but the heritage of the industry remains strong as our state and national governments have worked to make the cut-over lands of Michigan again useful by re-creating many of the vast stands of forest lands that were here before the lumberman’s axe. As a result, northern Michigan has national forests, state forests, national and state parks, city and county parks, and large forests owned by private companies for businesses that depend upon trees and logs as raw materials. There are also private individual owners of forest lands both large and small that includes folks like me who have small tracts with lots of trees.

With all these forests and businesses relying on wood as a raw material, you would think we would have many businesses for tree trimming, tree removal and so forth. You would be correct. All those forests use lots of labor to manage them. Accordingly, our area has many small businesses to provide that labor. I am an occasional consumer of that labor as I have had periodic need over the years to help manage the problem of the odd tree falling down or even worse, growing somewhere that I don’t want it to grow. It was this latter case that led to my recent need for removing a big tree, a quaking aspen, better known locally as ‘popple’, a tree that belongs to the cottonwood family.

I had earlier experience in hiring local woodsmen for tree removal work. It was always difficult, and it seemed that you had to know someone to even get an audience. The Godfather movie always came to mind as I waited for a tree boss to say something like ‘So, you know my cousin Vinnie?’

Part of the problem must have been that the high demand for this seasonal work precludes excess work capacity. Another problem was in waiting too late to hire someone as their work schedules quickly filled to capacity during the warm weather months. This became apparent when most of the small tree businesses refused to answer their phones or return calls when I left messages about tree removal work, and it was a surprise when someone actually arrived for an appointment to look at a job. Despite these difficulties, a few years ago, I had two or three trees removed and I included the big tree (it was smaller then), but the tree removal guy didn’t want to take on removing that tree since it was some distance from the others he was doing for me and would added an additional $600 to the bill. So, the tree was left in place, and it continued to grow vigorously. I learned this year that was a mistake.

By this year, the tree had reached near-record dimensions, and if it had fallen for any reason a part of my house would have been its victim. Further, the tree was persistent in its yearly spring-time flowering that resulted in millions of cotton-like tufts cascading on my decks, sidewalks, porches, window screens and everything else within a hundred feet of the tree that was growing on the banks of my pond. Furthermore, the now massive behemoth was still growing, shading my pond, and dropping its leaves and branches in the water. It was finally time to remove it, despite the cost. I faced the prospect once again of trying to find a tree removal work crew who could take on the job.

As luck would have it, this spring a tree work crew was finishing a job in our neighborhood late one afternoon as I passed by. Just as they were loading their truck to leave, on a whim I pulled into the yard and asked the boss if he could look at my big tree and give me an estimate for its removal. He agreed, followed me to my yard and looked over the tree along with two of his men. I stood apart while they conferred, pointing at the upper part of the tree, the adjacent wooded area and periodically shaking their heads. It didn’t seem like a good omen. Finally, the boss came to me. “We can’t get our lift truck back here,” he said, “so it’ll need to have a climber.”

I steeled myself for another rejection, but he continued,“we can do it,” he said. “We have a  hole in our schedule so we can bring it down next week. It ‘ll take just over one day’s work which fits our schedule.”I didn’t kiss him, but he must have seen my pleased expression. His demeanor changed a little as he faced me directly.

“You aren’t going to like this,” he warned, “but to bring this one down we need $1800. You understand that you will have a job in dealing with the branches and logs that we pile up.” I probably agreed a little too hastily at this. He checked his calendar as said his crew would be here the following week.

It was a different crew that arrived the following week to begin the job. We learned later that this crew were subcontractors to the boss who quoted the job. The straw boss of this crew was a man who had spent the last thirty years climbing trees, cutting the ever-larger branches from the top to the bottom of the tree into smaller pieces that could be lowered to the ground by ropes that his ground-based workmen managed, all done at his direction.

In short order I learned by watching that the climber was a master at his work; he attached his climbing gear, with those sharpened hooks on his boots, an assembly of ropes, a chain saw, a few pulleys, and a contraption that allowed him to pull himself upwards as he scaled the tree. Using this climbing gear he slowly worked his way up the tree until he was some 70 feet above the ground and perched on a ridiculously slender branch before beginning to work on the topmost branches of the tree. The procedure was always the same as he removed one branch after another; tying a pulley to the shore-side of the tree, then tying each branch to be cut with a husky rope, fishing the loose end of the rope through the pulley, then dropping the rope to the waiting men below.

The climber’s chain saw hung from his belt, dangling six feet below so as not to interfere with his climbing from perch to perch. Once he had established himself at a crotch of the tree and tied his safety belt securing him in place so that he had both hands available, he pulled his chainsaw into position. Then he pulled the rope to start the engine and operate the chainsaw with one hand while guiding each falling branch with his other hand. The ground-based workmen then lowered the branch away from the pond to the ground where they began piling up the refuse for my eventual disposal.

Watching the crew work as the tree slowly began to diminish in size was a treat. The climber was akin to a conductor of an orchestra, directing his men, swinging from branch to branch as he worked efficiently to bring the monster to the ground, piece by piece. I have to say he earned his wages honestly, doing the hard and dirty work quickly and without taking a break. By lunchtime, the upper parts of the tree were mostly on the ground while the larger, six inch and larger branches remained to face the saw. At that point, I didn’t notice the size of the pile of brush that had accumulated on the ground. The men on the ground were running out of room for more branches so they began to pile the larger pieces on top of the brush. Those pieces and the large center part of the tree came down the following day. I could feel the ground shake when the big tree came down in one piece and hit the soft ground. Shortly after, the tree men packed their gear and drove away.

So now I’m dealing with the aftermath of the climber’s performance, dragging the brush away and cutting firewood-sized pieces from the big and bulky logs that measure 30 inches in diameter. Next will be the splitting up of those large pieces that are much too large for my wood-burner. It looks to be a job lasting much of the spring and well into summer. I’m hoping that the job is not bigger than me. I’ll let you know …

Woodsman Bill

                          An R-rated Blog for May, 2021

 

It appears that I reached a new, all-time high in my continuing demonstration that I am an electronic neophyte, a bumbling sod in all areas of electronic communications, not to mention my limited expertise in computers and associated hardware. Here’s the story.

After a hard day of retirement project work, I decided to rejuvenate my spent body by a leisurely bath. As is my wont, I took my phone into the bathroom so that I could use my time studying Facebook posts while waiting for the tub to fill. That task being completed, I climbed into the steaming water, searching for a semi-comfortable position willing my sore muscles to relax amidst the steamy hot water. I put my phone aside, but close enough to reach, just in case.

While you are getting this picture, I’ll sneak in some background. Our neighbor and friend, I’ll call her Ivy, is currently in a nursing home recovering from a nasty fall that resulted in several broken bones. To relieve her tedium at the convalescent home, we have visited her in person on several occasions and learned that she is equipped with her electronic communication gadgets, so I wasn’t surprised when my phone announced that she was calling. The announcement was a little different than most, but I paid no attention as I bent over the edge of the tub and retrieved my own trusty electronic talking machine, confident that this would be a telephone call like any other.

Me: Hello, Ivy

Ivy: Is that you Bill? Your voice sounds a little different, as if you are in an echo chamber. (pause) Is that water I see?

Me: (lengthy pause) I ….ah, yes. How did you know and what did you mean ‘I see’?

Ivy: (laughter) Are you in the bathtub? (more laughter) Yes, you are in the bathtub!

Me: (a shouted aside) Marjorie! Come here and take the phone, please! (My voice must have announced my panic as I hoped. Marjorie appeared shortly thereafter to take away my phone that had suddenly become a movie camera for Ivy.

You probably get the picture. Apparently, the announcement that I missed when the phone call came in was that this was a video call. Ivy had her video chat feature turned on enabling her to see me and my bathing habits just by my answering the phone. I should have realized this as her picture came up along with her voice. As this tidbit of information dawned on me, it occurred to me that I should have been careful which way I turned the phone especially while handing it over to Marjorie since it had suddenly become a voyeurs dream machine for even an amateur spy like Ivy. And what about that feature that allowed the phone to focus – not on my face – but my nether regions at a push of the button. Might I have unwittingly pushed the button while handing it over?

I was tempted to drown my phone to end my torment. In the end, I wisely chose to chuckle in concert to Ivy’s uproarious laughter since it seemed that my discomfiture was approximately equal to her amusement.

I didn’t know about video calls that could be turned on without the recipient’s awareness, nor do I know if my phone has a similar feature beyond the infamous Zoom software that sometimes works. The next time I see Ivy, I’ll ask her to explain it to me and I’m sure we’ll have another good laugh together.

I am passing along this experience of mine as a public service. I suggest being careful with this feature on your phone as it may get you in hot water, just as it did me.

 

 

Climate Change News You Need to Know

                                              Roscommon/Crawford Chapter

Climate Change News

I follow a number of organizations who report findings concerning climate change on the internet. One of my favorites is the Environmental Defense Fund,* a US nonprofit environmental advocacy group. Most of the information for this blog came from their recent posting, “Now is the Time for Bold Action on Climate.” Here is a synopsis of their three recommendations for action.

1. Electrify the transportation sector while cleaning up electricity generation

Transportation is the single largest source of climate pollution in the U.S. Fortunately, we have the technology that offers jobs, cleaner air and a big reduction in air pollution.

By 2035, all new cars — and by 2040, all new trucks and buses — sold in the U.S. must be zero emission, with deployment prioritized in frontline communities that have long suffered a disproportionate burden of air pollution.

Momentum is building. GM, Volvo and some other automakers have already embraced this goal for cars. The U.S. Department of Energy recently announced $162 million in funding to pioneer electrified medium- and heavy-duty trucks. We need to speed the transition to electric vehicles while ensuring that electric power is 100% clean by 2035.

At the same time, we must ensure that by 2030, zero-emission cargo ships are using green alternative shipping fuels to travel deep-sea shipping routes and sustainable aviation fuels are meeting a significant portion of global demand by 2030. Doing these things will help assure that by the middle of the 21^st century, transporting our goods across the globe will no longer add to the world’s climate pollution.

2. Harness the power of nature to help stabilize the climate

Achieving net zero emissions by mid-century requires stopping tropical deforestation and removing some of the climate pollution already released into the atmosphere. This demands scientifically sound natural climate solutions, such as protecting and managing forests, farms, oceans, and grasslands to store carbon — while also creating markets and investments to bring these solutions to scale — for example, by rewarding indigenous people and other rainforest defenders for their invaluable work.

3. Slash methane pollution to supercharge planet-saving strategies.

 

The fastest way to put the brakes on climate warming right now is to reduce highly potent methane pollution. Our climate plan can’t stop at carbon dioxide. Methane pollution drives over 25% of today’s warming and reducing it requires immediate action to prevent more extreme climate impacts, such as severe storms and hotter fire seasons. Only by slashing methane pollution can we save Arctic sea ice.

 

The world cannot avoid climate catastrophe without China’s active participation. This includes making firm commitments for methane reduction targets and national methane standards. Europe has an opening to play an outsized role too. The world’s largest gas importer can use its buying power in coordination with countries outside the EU to signal to the global market that only the gas with the lowest methane emissions profile will be purchased.

 

“There have been moments throughout history that have tested the will of humankind. The bold have stepped forward to change the course of history and transform the world for the better.

Our climate moment is now — right now.”

 

 *Fred Krupp is the founder and president of Environmental Defense Fund. He became acquainted with recycling through his father's company, which used old rags to create roofing material. From his initial focus on recycling he gravitated toward climate issues, ultimately becoming an attorney and educator. He is a graduate of Yale University with a law degree from the University of Michigan where he has taught environmental law at both schools.

 

In other news, Chief executives from the likes of Unilever, Microsoft and Apple are among the 310 business leaders who recently released a letter urging the Biden administration to back up its 2050 net-zero target with a strong interim emissions goal.

In the open letter co-ordinated by the We Mean Business Coalition and Ceres, the executives praise the administration’s decision to re-commit the US to the Paris Agreement and to table a climate bill including a 2050 net-zero target. Since the bill, known as the CLEAN act, was first introduced to the House of Representatives last month, Biden has built on his pledge to create 10 million clean energy jobs with sweeping jobs and infrastructure plans.

The letter argues that, for the US pathway to net-zero to be “credible” and for the full economic potential of the low-carbon transition to be realized, a legally binding climate target for 2030 should be developed. The target should require the US to reduce annual emissions by at least 50% by 2030, against a 2005 baseline, after the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change’s (IPCC) landmark 2018 report stated that global net emissions should be halved by 2030 to deliver the Paris Agreement’s 1.5C pathway.

“A bold 2030 target is needed to catalyze a zero-emissions future, spur a robust economic recovery, create millions of well-paying jobs, and allow the US to build back better from the pandemic,” the letter states.

“A 2030 target will also guide the US government’s approach to more sustainable and resilient infrastructure, zero-emissions vehicles and buildings, improved agricultural practices, and durable carbon removal.”

In the meantime, the New York Times reports that deforestation of the world continues. Most of the usual suspects — Brazil, Democratic Republic of Congo, Bolivia and others — made the list of countries with high levels of deforestation. Brazil alone was responsible for about 40 percent of the loss. But Indonesia fell out of the top three for the first time since the institute began its reports two decades ago, thanks in part to government enforcement efforts.

Why it matters: By sequestering huge amounts of carbon dioxide, tropical old-growth forests are crucial for combating climate change.

The numbers: 10.3 million acres. That’s the total tropical forest loss last year, about the same surface area as Switzerland. — Henry Fountain

  

Springtime Cottages and Worms

 

Springtime Blog

 

The weather here in my neighborhood is finally starting to get warmer (the ice on my road has finally melted), so it seems an appropriate time to send along a new blog before you-all get too busy to read my scribblings. The picture below is a good place to start. You may know ours is a vacation area and thus we have any number of cottages that dot the area since ‘downstaters’ hunger for the rustic environment that our area offers.

The photo shows me standing next to one of the many hot properties in my neighborhood. I asked the Missus for this picture in case I decide to invest in this estate and then flip it for sale at an exorbitant price to some young, nature-loving, and wealthy individual who believes that I have an honest face. Of course, I will need to advertise this as ‘needs some loving attention’ or ‘perfect for a handyman or handywoman.’

OOPs! I forgot to get a picture of the privy in the back.

                                A Possible Real Estate Investment?

I won’t sell to just anyone, of course, since this property is in my neighborhood and just one road past my estate that is accessible by bicycle. Just so that I am not inundated by telephone messages from those of you interested in purchasing, I should warn you that I have not yet ventured any of my own capital on this project. Thus far, this project is simply a flight of fancy, somewhat inhibited by my lack of energy and the stout lock on the remaining front door that is still attached.

I came upon this property on one of our many bicycle rides. Now that I have a bum ankle, bicycling is a better pastime for the Missus and I instead of our former walking. I purchased a new bike for the Missus some while ago, and this year, feeling somewhat jealous of her ride, I decided to purchase a similar bike for myself. It’s an aluminum-framed bike, a real humdinger, although yesterday I discovered that the rear tire wouldn’t hold air pressure, so now the new bike seems more like an umdinger.

Since you asked, yes, my ankle has been a problem for a few years now, as it has caused me grief whenever I overworked the finicky thing. I’m finally past that troublesome pain from over-use. Now, my ankle complains all the time.

At maple sugaring time last year, I spent one all-day session on my feet, hunched over a large pot of boiling sap. The following day my ankle decided that walking was completely out of the question. The discomfort lasted for the next several days, so I went to see our local podiatrist. He asked me how the maple syrup came out. Then he fitted me with a boot and said he would see me in three months. The boot helped me to hobble along, but did little to help my speed or flexibility on the pickleball court.

Next, I saw an orthopedist, a doctor with extensive training at several schools and hospitals and more degrees and honors than I could imagine. He said that ankle surgery has a lengthy recovery and often has questionable results, but he could give me a shot of cortisone as a starting place to see how much help that provided. I got the shot. When I left his office, my foot and ankle felt like I was walking on air. I began to have hope for better pickleball, after all. The remarkable improvement in comfort lasted for a complete afternoon. The next day the improvement was a distant memory. I haven’t yet been back to that sawbones, either.

One of the changes I will need to manage soon is the care and outdoor re-location of my worm ranch and yes, the worms are doing just fine, eating our leftovers and creating worm fertilizer for gardening. My first colony is almost ready to graduate. Over the winter they increased in number and size. My favorite worm, Ralphie, has outgrown every other worm in the ranch. The worms were supposed to be Red Worms, small little wrigglers with a slight tinge of red. Somehow Ralphie sneaked into the batch as he is more the size of a nightcrawler than a redworm. So far as I know, Ralphie gets along fine with his mates – at least none of them have complained to me.

The original ranch has become two. A month or so ago, I decided that the first colony was getting cramped for space, so I set up a second ranch and transferred a couple dozen wrigglers into the new plastic tub. I decided to name the new tub after the Missus, keeping the original ranch as Camp Ralphie after my friendly, oversized worm. As soon as our nighttime temperatures are above freezing, I’ll put some worms from the first ranch in one of my gardens outdoors and begin the indoor ranching again with a few holdovers and new bedding.

I have learned quite a bit about worm ranching. One of the most important things is that worms are fussy eaters. (Who would have guessed?) There are several things they don’t like, so it is a waste of time to feed them any dairy, meat, or anything with substantial fat. They also shun citrus, and they don’t seem fond of onion peels or similar smelly veggies. Following these recommendations assures that the ranch will be odor – free. One of the things they do like is paper – shredded paper preferred, of course. They thrive on constant moisture and my source says they like to suck on cardboard, although I have yet to find any suckers in either of my ranches, despite my careful placement of moistened cardboard over the top of each pasture in the ranch.

Since the worm thing has been so successful, I’ll be certain to send you a summertime garden picture showing the vigorous veggies that I expect to grow after I flood them with worm poop.

Oh! I forgot to mention that I have a new book that should be available at Amazon shortly. For my Indiana friends and relatives, this one is about the Wabash River in northeast Indiana and the famous Indian who lived there, a remarkable Indian known everywhere as Little Turtle. Just ask if you want to know more and I’ll send you something.

 

Bill T

 

March 2021 North Woods Journal

 

I realize that I haven’t spoken with you in a while. In fact, this blog is intended to explain my surprising quietude that is uncharacteristic. (How about that ‘quietude.’ I just made that up, then I was surprised that there is an actual word. I’ll need to remember that for my next scrabble contest.)

So, there are quite a few reasons for my quietude. First is the pandemic – with the forced isolation, nothing much has happened worthy of talking about. Secondly, I have been busy with other scribbling, (more about that at another time), and lastly, I have spent an inordinate amount of time wrestling with my computer.

You may know that I have two blogs; this one and another that vents my emotions concerning climate change. The climate change blog has been both a treat and an ongoing challenge as I have fallen into the habit of preparing twice-monthly climate change blogs. Of course, those blogs require homework, unlike this blog that is routinely made of thin air with little thought before- hand. The climate change blog has a list of recipients, namely, members of the local Citizen Climate Lobby for our Roscommon County and the adjacent Crawford County. I feel like  preparing this blog is an important task as the future of our world depends upon us taking action to remedy the problem before it is too late.

Before you send me a nasty note, I should tell you that I realize not everyone shares my view about climate change. You should know, however, that more and more people have become believers, including a surprising number of congress members from both political parties. To my continuing surprise, none of them have asked to see my blogs. They must know about quietude as they are all practicing it.    

This second blog about climate change is the reason for my recent computer fight. As I noted, I have been doing the homework, writing the blog, posting it, and then sending a notification to our membership that the blog is ready for their detailed examination whenever they have sufficient quietude to study my offerings. The listing of our local group changes regularly as we get new members, as folks change their e-mail addresses, and so forth. Our hard-working leader sends me regular updates of the membership list so I can send out notifications coincident with each new blog. Pretty straight-forward, don’t you think? That was indeed the case until the proverbial monkey wrench was thrown.

In this case, the monkey wrench was good news, our membership increased substantially when the national organization sent us a new list of members from their computers to our local group. I didn’t notice anything different when I received my copy of the revised list for sending my blog. It turns out that I had a little more to learn about sending e-mail notifications about my blogs. The new list of members had a few changes that I failed to notice. The changes still seem minor to me, but apparently the Gods of Computer Land think that adding a comma instead of a semi-colon is a major failing and unacceptable in the world of HTML and e-mail addresses. Adding names written in English is also forbidden if they are intermixed with e-mail addresses and God-forbid, doing anything that interferes with the function of the little carrots seems to upset the hand-cart even more.

Don’t know what the carrots are? I didn’t either nor do I now, but I think they are HTML characters that basically say, pay attention, or quit paying attention. Here is a carrot “<” and an uncarrot, “ > ”. You need to insure that you have one before and one after the accurate writing of each e-mail address if you want something to happen when you push the send button.

The things that I just explained took me several hours spent over several weeks before I finally learned that when they are wrong, no amount of swearing will make the computer do something it doesn’t want to do.

So, that’s my story. I expect that having learned my lesson about carrots, semi-colons and mixing names with e-mail addresses will finally give me more quietude and time to prepare my blogs. See you then, < Bill >.  

 

North Woods Journal

 

A PANDEMIC UPDATE (and the world according to me)

 

 

The Covid 19 pandemic continues here in the north woods, however, it is showing signs of lessening as our new patient counts in Michigan have trended downward in the last several weeks. We who live here can claim some credit for the improvement. Not much, you understand, but enough that I feel we should talk about our role in helping stem the awful tide of transmission by a virus that is having it’s way with the United States more than any other nation on earth. As we stumble toward a half million deaths from Covid 19, more than the deaths from any war we have engaged in, we should all double down on our prevention efforts and do those things that are known to help, however small they may be.

 

Fortunately, those of us in Michigan have a smart lady governor who knows just when and how to pull the strings that help to keep us safe. Other governors and our former President seem to be jealous. As you will recall, she has taken political flack when she ‘closed down’ many businesses that were known to be culpable in furthering the spread of illness. The political flack that resulted from her appropriate action provoked an armed invasion of our capitol by pretend soldiers who came to the capitol with war-ready long rifles demanding entrance to the state house, claiming that Michigan’s ‘open carry’ law allowed such aggressive behavior. When the fire they tried to ignite didn’t, the militia men retreated to their enclaves to develop a plan to kidnap the governor and then assassinate her. Fortunately for the rest of us, the criminals who did the planning hadn’t read a sufficient number of spy novels to realize that the first requirement in developing a successful plan for a hit is to keep it secret. Fortunately for us, the planning boys didn’t realize one of those they recruited to help them was an FBI agent. It might be funny if the intent of the plan wasn’t so awful.

 

As the virus continued its onslaught on neighboring states, Michigan continued to help minimize the spread by keeping the virus at bay. Instead of kudos for her work, now we learn that other states are openly mocking her. Indiana has wasted state funding to install billboards along public highways mocking the Michigan governor. I might note that their billboards did not post the comparison of Michigan Covid 19 illnesses versus other states in the Midwest, including Indiana. With our governor’s continued help, the cooperation of our citizenry, and the vaccine that everyone should be getting, we can expect that things will get better soon.

 

Vaccinations across the country are proceeding, albeit, not as quickly as desired. My wife and I have had our first shot and are scheduled for the follow-on shot in early March. We are also following the recommended practices of avoiding others, especially those who are maskless or, almost as bad, those with masks tucked below their noses, or one of the rigid half-masks that fit loosely, allowing spittle to escape in an invisible plume that may be lethal for some of us. Available science data indicates that the wearing of two masks provides better protection for both the wearer and anyone who comes within range of the microscopic droplets that an infected person can disburse unknowingly. I have found that two masks, tightly fitted, are about as comfortable as one mask. I don’t see any reason not to follow the latest recommendations to help prevent the spread, hence I have fallen into the habit of carrying two masks wherever I go.

 

I hope you and your family are staying safe. I also urge you to help others stay safe by following the science-backed recommendations that are now being reliably passed on to us from our medical experts at CDC and other health agencies. We should take comfort in the spectacular results being achieved in some other nations; Wuhan China, the genesis of the illness, is now 100% back to work and virus free. New Zealand has just locked down because of three cases, a departure from their former zero cases, and Israel has seen a 40% reduction in illness as they work toward vaccinating 100% of their population. Surely, we can do as well in combatting this pandemic if we join together in putting our energies into solving this problem.    

 

A New Occupation -- my destiny?

 

I thought you might like to know that after all my long years on earth I am finally fulfilling my destiny. It took the pandemic to make me face the realization that there was something else for me to do with my life, something special, so now I have decided to do it. “Just do it” I said one fateful morning. A morning that sealed my fate, that opened up entirely new vistas for me to explore. And I can begin my new adventure even during this God-awful pandemic.

It hasn’t been accomplished yet, but I am far enough long now that I can openly talk about my new undertaking and provide you a sort of status report, not to seek your approval you understand, but perhaps to simply explain my extraordinary undertaking.

Here goes. I have decided to become a rancher. I expect to be roaming the range shortly. That’s it. I’ll be a rancher with a ranch of my very own, spending my time managing the herd. Alone on the range, so to speak. A wrangler. I can’t tell you why, but I think I may have repressed this desire of owning my own ranch from my earliest childhood. I remember watching cowboy movies when I was but a lad, and all my heroes on the silver screen had their own ranches. So now, out of nowhere, I have decided that I want to be a rancher with my own ranch just like Roy Rogers and the other cowpokes that I so admired. I may have to buy myself a Jeep just like Roy had.

Having your own ranch requires a lot of forethought and decision-making --not one of my strong points. But I think that as of today I have made most of the major decisions and it is now just a matter of implementation since I have already begun the acquisition process. Here is a high-level status report.

I have decided that my ranch wants to be a working ranch with livestock (I’ve always liked animals.) I have decided on the particulars for my livestock and placed an order for 100 head, to be delivered soon. I have already purchased some of the supplies needed to support the animals and I spent the afternoon today working in my soon-to-be corral that will contain the stock.

I should have told you sooner … the good news about my ranch is that I don’t have to move. Everything I need is already in place here in the woods of Roscommon and making it all work will be just a matter of time and willpower, so wish me luck. I expect to be really busy with this new endeavor so I may not be able to see you or respond to your questions for a little while.

“What’s that?”

Oh, the Missus just said I should explain a little further about the ranch, details like where it will be and the kind of animals and so forth. I didn’t think I needed to go through all that, but she insisted, so here it is.

The ranch is in my basement. It’s a worm ranch. I will be owner and livestock manager, putting the worms in the plastic bins, when my 100-- worm shipment arrives in the mail. If I have any luck at all, the worms should eat our food scraps and I won’t have to go outdoors to keep the compost pile going. It will be good for the environment, the worms will be happy, and I’ll wear my cowboy hat when I feed them.                                        Cowboy BIll