BIll's Big Adventure

Bill’s Big Adventure

Welcome to summer and June 21, the longest day of the year. At this time of year, in our neck of the woods, sundown occurs around 10 PM so there is plenty of time for outdoor adventures including a recent one that I want to tell you about. This adventure was actually a little delayed since our spring has been generally cool, not conducive to water sports. And so it was only yesterday that I engaged in an activity that became a big adventure.

Before I jump into my story, I need to provide you with context; background info that may color your understanding and impact of what I am about to relate. Hang on for just a moment as I explain:

Many years ago wife Marjorie and I became proud parents of three boys. We were determined they should learn the ways of nature and could socialize with other boys and adults and so we urged them to join Boy Scouts. One thing led to another and I ultimately became one of the leaders and then Scoutmaster for two years. Our troop focused on camping, something I had never done in my early years, including week-long Hi Adventure Trips as we termed them. One of the first Hi Adventure Trips I recall was a one-week canoe trek through Canada’s giant Algonquin park. To my delight, the trip was a hoot and I thoroughly enjoyed my time in the wilderness. Many trips like the first one followed and my three sons ultimately became Eagle Scouts both with and without my participation in any number of camping and canoeing trips.

After the boys grew up and left home, I talked my wife Marjorie into wilderness camping both as hiking and canoeing adventures. The two of us spent many vacations in the woods following the pathways that our sons had traveled. Most occurred without incident and we enjoyed them enough that they became a regular habit. Now, fast forward 50-some years.

We live along the famous Au Sable River and we have canoed the stream many times during our retirement years. I decided to go for a canoe ride yesterday, my first of the young warm weather season. Marjorie wasn’t interested in going so I decided to attach my 5-horsepower outboard motor to the squared end of the canoe since it makes it much easier for one person to maneuver the canoe around the many bends in the river. It also destroys the balance of the canoe with all the weight at one end, but I didn’t consider that as I was excited about my first trip of the year.

I found the river was low when I arrived at the shoreline with the motor in hand. No matter, I thought. We hadn’t any rain for several days, accounting for the river being two feet below the shoreline. I decided to push the canoe to the edge of the bank and then affix the motor while the end of the boat was suspended above the river. Not without effort, I slogged through the two-foot high grass to the river’s edge and tightened the screws holding the motor in place. “Now, all I need do is gently push the boat into the water with the heavy end first while leaving the bow on shore so that I can climb in,” I thought silently … since I am not yet admitting that I talk to myself.

I found that the boat had gained considerable weight since I had last used it. It took a mighty push to nudge the boat toward the river as the grass seemed to be securely holding onto the boat . I stepped back to judge my progress. The boat had moved approximately two inches. “Just 16 more feet, 10 inches to go,” I said aloud this time. After considerably more effort, finally, the motor dipped into the water making the push slightly easier. I stopped for a breath and again assessed the progress. Since the boat was now mostly below me with only the bow setting on the shore, almost ½ the boat was suspended in air with only the motor and a small part of the boat in the water.

I gingerly stepped into the boat. With my considerable canoeing experience, I knew that the secret for staying upright in a jiggly canoe is to stay low. With a paddle in hand, I stepped into the bow of the boat that was still resting on the shore. So far so good, I breathed aloud as I bent at the waist and took a tiny step toward the rear of the boat. The first reinforcing bar that attached to the gunwales was facing me. I had to step over it and then turn around while maintaining my balance. Slowly now. I made the turn while still bent over. Now I’ll crouch further down and use the paddle to push the boat off the shoreline and into the water.

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you that the prior owner of my plot of land had illegally dredged the river at my access point to make a hole for improved fishing. The river is generally one to three feet deep except at my access point where the line from a fishing pole will extend at least six feet before it reaches the bottom. I was heading for the deepest spot in the river.

I pushed the blade end of the paddle into the muck to dislodge the boat from its resting point. Nothing happened. I put my back into it and then everything happened. I was upside down in the water while the boat was casually beginning to float away along with my sun hat. I was still griping the paddle tightly as my feet found the bottom and I gained a purchase on the muck at the river’s bottom. I climbed aboard the boat without difficulty as it now decided to behave normally after its unexplainable twisting as it reached the river.

I was soaked from head to toe. I took a short ride upstream until the propeller blades became fouled with weeds and I gave up the adventure as a good experience gone bad. I went back to the dreaded entry point and now, without fear of getting wet, I crawled from the boat to the ledge at the grassy  shore on my hands and knees, pulling the boat behind me. As I finally reached the top I remembered. I whipped my cell phone from my front pocket. Then I pulled my soggy wallet from my hip pocket. As I took off my hat to let it dry in the sun, something felt different. The earpiece of one of my hearing aids was missing. It had been stolen by the river during my unexpected somersault from the canoe. I gathered up my paddle, my hat, the damn motor, and slowly waddled home as my shoes squeaked with each step.

I spent today drying my cash and credit cards from my wallet, trying and then giving up on drying my phone, and dealing with the hearing aid company for a new earpiece. Of course, the hearing aid lady mentioned that my two-year warranty had expired in April. So far, the financial tally of damages seems to be stretching toward a few thousand dollars -- probably more than I ever spent in previous HI  Adventure Trips. And this for a 10 - minute ride.

Surely, an experienced canoe man like me should know better than to climb into a canoe perched on the edge of a steep embankment. Or maybe the cause was just a freak occurrence with a twisty, square-backed canoe with a motor. I’m leaning toward the freak occurrence. Whadayou think?