Stacking Firewood UP

Stacking Firewood

As promised, here is my regurgitation about stacking firewood; a topic of vital importance for us North Woods men, as will become apparent from even a casual perusal of the following.

As you must know, stacking firewood is the last step in a lengthy process in acquiring a supply of that which is a treasured accompaniment to cocktails or wine during winter evenings spent indoors with a good friend. Of course, I’m talking about sitting next to a cheery fire that helps one forget that snow is piling up outdoors.

The process for a dedicated woodsman begins by selecting trees, cutting them down, sawing the logs, splitting the chunks into a size suitable for the wood stove, transporting the wood to the rick and finally, stacking the finished product for drying and subsequent use. It is an up and down process.

The trees are cut DOWN, logs are sawed UP, the sawed pieces are split DOWN to firewood size, gathered UP, sorted and transported, then finally stacked in the rick with the trust that in a year or two the firewood will be ready to burn. A foul UP on any step of the process can ruin the entire effort, resulting in poor quality fires and ruined friendships during winter evenings with beer instead of wine by the fire. A single example of a sorry foul-UP will suffice.

An unnamed North Woods man of my acquaintance decided to acquire his firewood using the process that I described above. He had a large supply of dead and dying trees in his part of the north woods and a suitable wood rick, but little else in the way of qualifications for the project. He went to the store to buy a chainsaw. The salesman had a large inventory of saws. The salesman told my friend that he recommended the top-of-the line saw, saying that the saw would save time and money since he could saw UP ten cords of firewood in one day by using the top-of-the line saw. My friend was convinced. He purchased the top-of-the-line chainsaw. He took the saw home and, anxious to begin his project, began cutting DOWN trees that very afternoon. He worked hard, but by dinner time, he estimated that he had sawed UP only a single cord of firewood.

He decided that he needed to start early the following day to achieve the ten-cord result the salesman promised. He began work the following morning at nine AM sharp. [Like me, he is retired]. He worded steadily all day long until nap time followed by cocktail hour. [Like me, he is retired and approximately my age]. After cocktails, he went outdoors to survey his work results. He was no-where close to the ten-cord result promised by the salesman. He decided to return the chainsaw to the store and ask about his disappointing results thus far.

The following day he left home early and arrived at the chainsaw store about 10AM [like me, he is retired]. The salesman seemed surprised at his inferred complaint about the result of his work. “Let me see the saw,” he asked. My friend handed him the elaborate carrying case that came with the expensive chainsaw. “It looks like new,” the salesman said as he pulled the cord to operate the engine.

“What is that noise?” my friend asked as the engine fired UP.

So, back to stacking firewood.

Rule #1. Stack the firewood so it doesn’t fall down. That means having all the stacked pieces about the same size and laid in such a way that the pieces can nestle together. I can’t describe what this means but you’ll know it when you see it. (See also Rule # 2)

Rule #2. Stack the wood with plenty of air space to allow the wood to dry before use. Make the void around each layer of wood large enough so a mouse can pass thru the stack but small enough so the cat chasing after him is unable

Rule # 3. Don’t stack pieces that are too heavy on the top. (Also see rule #4)

Rule #4 [The most important of all the rules] Don’t stack the firewood higher than the wife can reach. Explain that you’ll pour the wine while she keeps the wood bin filled. Offer to help her with her coat while she treks outdoors to the wood rick.