You probably don’t know me as a computer geek. That’s
because I’m not. Oh sure, I can write a blog or two and I have a few books to
my credit, all prepared by me on my laptop. And I do the usual e-mails, surf the
web, prepare my taxes, play bridge, (by the way, the machine happens
to be female) and keep files on her where I can find them. Make that, occasionally
find them.
The secret to my success is that I ‘ve been doing these
things on the same laptop for several years. I had something of a love -hate
relationship with her since we spent so much time together. It was a surprise
when she recently fell out of love with me. The reason for our split-up was
that her battery gave out. It began slowly enough when she stopped providing
service for more than a few minutes, before she sent me a note asking for
power. I ignored her message for several weeks, make that a few months, before
she finally became adamant and sent Hewlett Packard after me. It was a wake-up
call when HP sent a message saying I should contact them because the
battery was worn out.
I thought it was no big deal. I’d go down to the hardware
store, lay out a couple bucks for a battery and bingo, we’d be back in love. Little
did I know. I soon learned that HP cleverly used a battery in my computer that
is not available from anyone else, and the price for a new one from them, is
roughly equivalent to the price for a used car. Now I know why I never liked that
Fiorina lady during the Republican debates.
I should also tell you that for the past year or more, my
trusty computer had been sending me messages about Windows 10. The messages
were from Microsoft and they said the world would probably end if I didn’t soon
change from my old Windows 7 to Windows 10. Besides, they said, it was
FREE.
Armed with these facts, I decided to go shopping at my
favorite discount store where I purchased a new laptop that I hoped would be
similar to my old one. I can’t tell you much about it except to say it is a
humdinger, loaded with good stuff, according to HP. AND IT HAS WINDOWS 10, the
sticker almost shouted at me. And, I almost forgot, a touch screen.
I have had the machine for a few weeks and now I understand
why Microsoft has been pushing Windows 10 so vigorously. It’s because they
think they can sell you MORE STUFF. Windows 10 was developed by 13 year-olds
who don’t like older people. They put all this neat, new stuff on it that is
for sale. Each thing looks enticing, each thing requires a monthly subscription
to join, or buy. The free stuff that I used routinely on my old machine is
now hidden, often somewhere behind all the for sale stuff. I tried to
find things by using the touch screen and that was a mistake-- the computer
acted like I had touched her inappropriately, changing the entire desktop. I swear
I haven’t touched her screen since she slapped me.
Nothing on the new machine seems to work the same as the old
machine. Each task requires a leaning session followed by a period of trial and
error. To add further insult, I quickly learned that the new machine was loaded
with a temporary Windows Office package and wouldn’t I like to subscribe to the
new Windows Office before my free trial version expires in 30 days? I can’t
even write a blog with the new machine? Oh, how I pined for my old girl, she
with the failing battery. Even now, I can see her sitting unattended in my
basement office, probably waiting for me to turn her on and caress her keys
with the faded letters.
But, here I am, writing my first blog on the machine
with Windows 10 idling in the background, probably lying in wait to foul things
up because I haven’t purchased anything since the new Windows Office that I
sprung for at three times the cost of the old one. I have little expectation
that you will ever see this because I probably will be unable to save it, find
it, post it, and share it. I hope you have a nice day. I’ll be here wrestling
with my new laptop.