Cold Walking

It has been a cold winter – about as cold as last year, according to the weatherman. Wife Marjorie and I didn’t let the cold weather change our regular routine of a daily walk. You may know that we are inveterate walkers from long practice. She took up the practice before me, completing a regular afternoon traipse with two or three ladies while I was at work. I always thought their fascination with exercise was enhanced by a corresponding fascination of a daily chit-chat. My walking routine devolved as a means of escaping my engineering office during lunch hour to relax from its constant burden. After retiring and moving to our retirement home, Marjorie and I adopted the practice of a morning walk that has become constitutional regardless of weather. This year we walked in bitter cold more often than most years, several times at temperatures below -10 °F and two or three times below   -20 °F. (No one has accused us of being overly bright).

The cold has been bearable during our walks; we have learned to layer our clothes and protect exposed skin, and most mornings we remain comfortable even during the coldest weather. In fact, we have learned that snow and wind seem to be more problematical than cold as the snow requires more energy – it becomes a trudge rather than a walk, and any wind above ten miles per hour at temperatures below freezing makes our skin vulnerable to damage. Since we already have our share of wrinkles, we are attempting to avoid more. We have also become more careful over time about slips and falls, equipping our winter boots with steel wires and/or cleats to prevent slips. Even with these precautions, this year’s cold weather has taught me few things about cold walking.

I have learned that walking in the cold changes things: you need to get used to frozen eyelashes, white-frosted eyebrows and silence. Silence prevails. Snow covered roads absorb sounds including those from oncoming vehicles. Bitter cold inhibits conversation: words come out but they instantly freeze and fall upon the ground before reaching a listener. I assume those frozen words will regain their activity when they melt in the spring and add to the general cacophony provided by birds and bugs. Of course, not all words freeze instantly; Larger words have more energy and are thus more durable, requiring more cold to freeze them. Sadly, I don’t know many words bigger than two syllables so I am unable to converse normally during our morning walk.

It surprised me to learn there is an exception to the freezing word business. Swear words seem to be immune to the freezing phenomena, perhaps because they arise with such a vile, thick coating and are thrust forward with an energy that prevents freezing. At least, that is how it seems since even a few mild curses from my lips provokes an immediate response from my spouse while my other, normally learned discourse goes mostly unnoticed and under-appreciated.

Lest you think the cold in the North Woods during the past two years invalidates global warming, you should know that on a worldwide basis, the last two years have continued the long trend of steadily increasing temperatures as our atmosphere gains in carbon gases. The North Woods has been an anomaly with our bitter cold this winter and last as we have been regularly colder than Alaska and other northern regions. In fact, the Iditarod was moved further north this year to find colder weather.

We humans continue to flirt with a catastrophe for our children and grandchildren as we ignore global warming and race toward disaster. Our government in Washington, D.C. offers little hope for combating the problem. A news item titled “The dumbest thing that happened in the US Senate today” shows the Chairman of the Committee for the Environment and Public Works, Sen. James Inhofe, R -Oklahoma, throwing a snowball during his speech on the Senate floor. The conservative Senator was trying to prove that global warming isn't really happening. “It’s unseasonably cold out,” he said, as if his snowball was proof that global warming is a mirage and the carbon based energy industry doesn’t donate to politicians. He must think we are dumber than he is.

I think we pay our Congressmen too much and I plan to expand on that topic during tomorrow’s morning walk . . . if it is a bit warmer.