Understanding the Election

 

 

 

Those of us who live in North Woods where I do are a little different from most folks. Some would say odd. The recent election is an example: Michigan is a Republic State that predictably votes Republican in virtually every election; yet I drink coffee with a collection of old coots that are diehard Democrats. Our morning assembly of coffee-drinking loafers would be happiest if only Democrats were allowed to run for elected office. Of course, there was much mashing of teeth and predictions of gloom this morning after the election results were announced and Republicans once again swept most offices.

Our reaction was unlike the braggart who said there are two kinds of men: those who make things happen and those who watch things happen. In our case neither applies – we wondered what just happened. The only thing we could agree upon about the election was that the conservative majority managed something that scientists have been unable to accomplish throughout recorded history: Time just moved backwards several generations.

We flatlanders seem to be out of ‘sync’ with the wider population. I just read a news story that said we Michiganders even talk differently with our made-up words about Yoopers, the Mitten, and pasties. Some North Woods Types seek clarity by using plainer, simple words. I just had my septic tank cleaned and a new man came to inspect the tank. As he and I stood together looking over the tank and drain field he remarked that he would need his tools to manage the septage.

“Septage?” I asked.

“I need my hoses to pump the shit,” he explained.

Getting back to the election results, I should say that I was happy about the outcome of the ballot issue pertaining to Michigan wolves. The proposal was like many of our political questions, to go forward it was necessary to vote NO. The bottom line was that we protected our fledgling wolf population by voting no on the ballot proposal. One win for the North Woods.

Maybe having a Republican majority in both houses of Congress will mean that Congressmen can work to get a few things accomplished besides their re-election. Nah, since they only work two days a week and all seem to enjoy being nasty, it is unlikely that anything will be accomplished. But wait, maybe that’s a good thing.