Tuesday, December 18, 2012

A Christmas Letter


      

Dear Friends,

 

This year I have decided to create my own, general purpose Christmas greeting in a curmudgeonly fashion. My aim is to reduce costs associated with cards and envelopes, not to mention the added burden of hiring the US Postal Service for last-minute delivery. Besides, I’ve grown tired of cards with sparkles and pretty pictures of Christmas trees with fake snow on rooftops. Instead, I want to tell it like it is: Outside, dead leaves being blown around the lawn by cold winter winds and, inside, the hectic pace of Christmas preparations interrupted by telephone calls from telemarketers. So, here it is: My summary of the year’s balance sheet of blessings and bumps for my Christmas Letter.

We did a good job again this year in finding ways to spend our retirement income in its entirety, leaving none to get moldy by lying around in a musty old vault somewhere. Not only did we manage to spend it, we achieved new records in how quickly we burned through it. The credit card companies must have thought we were in some sort of spending contest. Unfortunately, during the year, our sanguine ways were rudely interrupted by General Motors announced ending of my retirement paychecks. I recovered from the resulting catatonic state after I learned that General Motors were arranging annuity payments that would spend just as well as the retirement checks. Accordingly, we spent a good portion of our summer on camping vacations.

Marjorie helped with our cash flow again this year by reducing the outgo connected with our daily cocktail hour. Her skills in the kitchen and basement in fermenting malt and various fruits helped considerably and assuaged my investment losses in the lottery. We should be good next year as well as she has more bubbly in the making: one cauldron with 30 pounds of grapes promises to be another winner next year, although her cranberry wine from last year was superb.

We continue to spend considerable time together in pursuit of our dancing hobby with a lesson or a dance more than once per week. Most times, we must travel an hour or more to find a place to dance that is equal to our caliber of ballroom or square dancing. The dance caliber that we achieve is approximately equal to the Macarena when performed at a late-night wedding reception with an open bar.

The other exercise we’ve been getting involves a twice-per-week class known as Silver Sneakers; so-called, I believe, because all the women who attend have silver hair and the other two men and I sneak into the class with hopes that no one will notice. Two young women teach the class. I think they enjoy showing old-timers what we remember that we once could do.

Marjorie continues with her sewing hobby while I pretend to have deep thoughts at the computer in working on another book. She spent the better part of a year hand quilting a “Quilt of Valor” that she gave to a soldier, a Captain in the US Air Force.

Again this year we were blessed with good health and joy and we wish the same for you. Remember, every day is a gift, some are just more fun to open than others. May the joys of the season be yours!                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

Bill & Marjorie Tudor

 

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

It's Not My Fault


I just learned from Scientific American that it’s not my fault that I am a little overweight. In their 2012 Special Edition, What Makes Us Human, they report that the human brain consumes 22 times the calories that other muscles need. 22 times. In other words, if eating one Twinkie makes me gain, say, 17 pounds, I’d need about 100 Twinkies to calculate the mass of my two snowmobiles sitting on the trailer which they are right now ‘cause they are broke.

For the past 25 years I have assumed I should eat less to lose weight AND IT DIDN’T WORK. I learned the hard way that eating less made me hungry so I would eat Twinkies before bed AND GAIN WEIGHT instead of lose it. After all my efforts to lose weight by exercise and eating less, now I learn that I should have been thinking more. That extra flab I see when I look down is not my fault.

I should have known that thinking uses calories. Every nerdy, smart person I know is skinny and wears glasses. And now that I think about it, I haven’t seen any fat guys buying any of my books, either. Not only do the skinny nerds think more, they have bigger brains so they use more calories when they sit around with their brains idling. I suppose they can calculate the mass of my snowmobiles even with their brains in first gear, whereas I need overdrive to remember the last time I put gas in the machines. Which is why they are broke, the repairman said the gas that I put in the machines last winter turned to mashed potatoes and plugged up the frazzelometer, and voided the warranty on the fuel metering ohmmeter requiring him to overhaul both machines just to get them started. I suspect his brain is not much bigger than mine though, because he has been calculating the cost to repair my machines for the last two weeks.

Since the holidays are coming upon us, I am determined to use my newfound knowledge to lose weight. With my small brain, I know I’ll have my work cut out for me. In fact, the last time I tried to think about something, (I can’t remember what it was) nothing happened. But I am determined to change things and I am going to start think training tomorrow by thinking about food, starting with Twinkies. If the Scientific American information is correct, I figure that if I think about Twinkies an hour or two each day, by Christmas time I should have dropped several pounds and I’ll be able to enjoy the holidays without that guilty feeling that creeps up on me like a cat stalking my dog, who also has a weight problem and who probably also has a thinking problem so it’s not his fault, either.

 

Happy Holidays

 

Grandpa Bill

Monday, November 5, 2012

Its For the Birds

I like to think of myself as a bird lover.

Not the kind that travels the country for bird –watching expeditions or one of those who keeps a life list of birds spotted and then brags about it to his friends. No, I’m more of a living room bird lover, the kind who likes to look out the living room window and then remark, “Hey, there’s a chickadee.” Not that chickadees are the only birds I can identify, but they are one of the four or five that I know about who live in my neighborhood. Because of my love of birds, over the years I’ve tried to help the little creatures that flit about my yard. My first attempt beginning several years ago was to help provide housing for the little winged dustballs.

 Over the years, I have invested a small bundle in birdhouses that I have built or bought and then mounted around the yard, defacing several trees in the process. So far, I have had exactly zero birds take up residence in my birdhouses. What I generally find is that the winged midgets live in houses of their own construction instead of my spacious and attractive proffered lodgings. My two-story, 12-room purple martin house is a case in point. I erected the apartment dwelling in 2010, but only one family of mud swallows inspected the place, sniffed, (imperiously, it seemed to me) and then left. Since then, a few other birds have stopped by, but none has stayed more than a week. I think that the business of selling birdhouses is a vast rightwing conspiracy foisted on us bird lovers by handcrafters at flea markets and craft shows. Since lodging birds hasn’t worked out very well, I have adopted other means of supporting them.

 I’m a bird feeder. I like feeding birds, probably because they remind me of my own habits. I get a kick out of watching the greedy little devils buzz around my feeders and devour my seeds like there is no tomorrow. Feeding the birds after the feeders have been empty for a day or so is a special treat. The fuzzy little chatterboxes just can’t wait for me to fill their larder. I can put out seeds anytime during the day and have half-dozen birds dive-bombing me before I put away the ladder. Those that wait ‘till I am finished generally sit on a nearby branch and scold me for being late with the food. After the feeders are full, it’s a hoot watching them chase each other away and then squawk or chirp proudly as they strut around the four feeders before they to gorge on my largess. But, bird feeding has also caused a number of problems. Beyond the mere cost of feeders, seeds, oranges, sugar and suet, I have had problems in keeping birds happy. In fact, it has been a long struggle between me, the birds, and several other critters that take pleasure in foiling my attempts to be a responsible birder.

 The critters that have caused the biggest problems are our local bears. Those beggars are determined to eat my seeds and, in the process, wreck my feeders. They generally wreak havoc early in the spring. Their springtime marauding happens when the lazy old bears wake up from a long winter’s nap only to learn that the rest of the world (that supplies their food) is not yet fully awake. Then, they turn to my feeders. I have also had bear problems later in the year when the mama drives away her youngster so she can receive the affections of the nearest male. The youngsters are often not skilled at finding food but they seem to find my feeders like a dog after a bitch in heat.

 I wouldn’t mind if the wooly bruins just ate the seeds, but no, they have to bend the steel pole holding the feeders, tear the tube feeders from their hooks then break everything else to get at the seeds. More than once, the black devils have carried away the feeders entirely, never to be found again. My poor, starving birds have to wait for me to find time in my busy retirement schedule to trek to the hardware store for replacement parts and then re-build the feeding platform and re-hang a new set of feeders. It makes me tired just thinking about it.

 Bears aren’t the only culprits. We seem to have our share of hungry raccoons also. Early one morning, I found four of the mangy furballs, all sitting in my platform feeder happily munching away. It is incredible how much they can eat in one night. I learned just how much the hard way when I left a 50 pound bag of sunflower seeds in the back of the pick-up truck that was parked outside. Some wily raccoon sniffed out my mistake, spread the word to all his friends in the neighborhood, and consumed a large share of the bag in one night.

 Smaller crittters also attack my bird food. I have a plentiful supply of red squirrels, fox squirrels and chipmucks who regularly attend the feeders. Of course, I discourage their direct attacks with the use of an inverted can mounted on the pole that supports the feeders. That helps a little. The birds don’t help though, as they shovel off seeds to the ground where the assorted buggers with tails gather for the bounty and laugh at the dog’s feeble attempts to chase them into submission.

 I put out a variety of food for birds; sunflower seeds, nyger, suet, safflower and of course, oranges and sugar water for orioles and hummers. The suet is a mistake since it attracts woodpeckers. The woodpeckers go from my suet to the logs on my house or the boards on my barn to peck away for their desert. My barn has several long rows of holes made by peckers who were searching for bugs on my board and batten. So far, the logs on my house are still intact as I keep alert for the telltale rat tat tat that identifies a pecker who wants attention or a bug meal. My favorite pecker is the Pileated, the bird who seems to be almost as big as I am. I am sort of glad that he is shy and doesn’t like seeds or feeding stations.

I’d like to tell you more about me and my local bird population, but I can see from my perch at the computer that the feeders are empty again so it’s time to ignite the feeding orgy. “By the way, there’s another of those screwy upside-down birds that looks like a chickadee hanging around.”

 

Grandpa Bill

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Pickles, Peaches and Tomatoes


Pickles, Peaches, and Tomatoes?


 
 
W
e have been in sort of a pickle here in Roscommon. It all started with the unusually warm weather this spring and summer. It was so warm that the Mrs. got hot under the collar when the temperature soared above 80°F early in the spring. Not knowing what else to do, I called the furnace man who suggested installation of an air conditioner. Although I nearly choked at the cost, I agreed and an air-conditioner soon graced our backyard. Things around home cooled after that and we had a durn nice summer even with the hot weather. I spent a good portion of my summer standing in the back yard with a hose in hand, watering the tomatoes and beans while the air conditioner hummed and the electric meter whirred. The consequences of all that heat and all that watering is that come fall, I was up to my patuttie in beans and tomatoes.
 
I decided to pickle the overflow crop of green beans. I treated them with vinegar, salt, garlic and dill to make what the cookbook calls pickles, but I would call pickled beans. Anyway, after I had produced several quarts of pickled beans and eaten so many that my mouth was beginning to curl in a permanent sort of sneer, it came to me that I needed to do something with all those quart cans full of pickled beans. The Mrs. said I should can them. (Canning: [kan’ing], n, an antiquated practice of putting food in cans for preservation. A practice unknown to most civilized men ). I soon learned that canning involved a number of skills that were completely foreign to me: washing, sterilizing, steaming and re-packing jars to avoid air bubbles. The final foolishness was spending an hour or more watching a giant bucket of water boiling so my poor beans could simmer in the vinegar solution and the rubber seal would consent to set tightly on the Ball jars. It was just ridiculous.
 
All that vinegar wafting around the house must have stirred some primeval activity in the Mrs.; she decided she would make and can pickled beets. The odor of the house had just returned to normal after my pickling and canning operation when, true to her word, she came home with a basket of beets and a big bottle of vinegar. Soon, the house again filled with that pungent smell of vinegar as she blanched, boiled, steamed and sealed several jars filled with little red balls that she said were baby beats.
 
But she didn’t stop there. After the beets, it was pickles. This time, it was ‘honest-to-God pickles made from cucumbers. I asked the grocer if he could deliver vinegar directly to our house. Upon my questioning, the Mrs. said she was making bread and butter pickles, although I didn’t see either bread or butter in any of the finished jars. While she was busy pickling, I watered the garden.
 
Just about then, my tomatoes got red. I picked ‘em and we ate as many as we could, but not nearly enough to deplete the harvest. I began to worry that all that red juice in my system might affect my plumbing inappropriately. All I could think about was what if I had to have an emergency physical exam that required me to pee in a cup. If I peed red, no doubt I’d be off to the emergency room with some doctor who knew nothing about ripe tomatoes ready to carve me up. The solution: can some tomatoes instead of eating them all. I filled the big bucket with water and began the interminable wait as the water heated slowly on the stove. I avoided any sort of pickling.
 
The preposterous thing about all this pickling and canning was that it delayed our normal fall practice of harvesting fruit for wine. As soon as we finished with the vinegarizing, pickling, canning and so forth, we began our search for fruit for wine. We soon discovered the full extent of our summer’s weather-induced calamity. Sadly, we found that this year (at least in Michigan), there isn’t any fruit. The cherries and apples froze in the spring, and the berries failed due to the heat and dry summer. We had staked out several wild elderberry bushes for fall picking to make elderberry wine, but there were no elderberries. Other searches yielded no wild grapes, no raspberries, and no currants, nothing. Our fondest hopes for a bountiful 2012 wine season melted like ice cream in front of a six year old.
 
So, our summer was all pickles and no wine. I am reflecting on this terrible sequence of events as I indulge in a large glass of our 2011 peach wine. 2011 was a good year for peaches so we have a supply of a flavorful wine. Next year, instead of drinking wine, I guess I’ll be eating pickles and peeing red.
 
Grandpa Bill
 
 

Friday, September 7, 2012

A Week-End Getaway... at MacDonald's?

We received an invitation for a wedding in Chicago for the daughter of friends. The invitation said the wedding and reception was at the Hyatt Lodge in Oak Brook, Illinois, a Chicago suburb. We decided to attend. I was somewhat reluctant since I’ve never attended a wedding that I enjoyed because I always felt sorry for the groom, but this one turned out to be completely different; it was a treat. The ceremony and reception were outstanding and the venue was exceedingly pleasant. Did I mention that the affair was held at MacDonald’s?
As I understand it, Ray Kroc, the brains behind MacDonald’s restaurants, promoted his first grill -man, Fred Turner, to General Manager. Apparently, Fred turned out to be the real deal and the pair earned billions, enough to convince them to build a fancy headquarters in Oak Brook, Illinois near Kroc’s home. But, they weren’t satisfied. They went on to build a training facility, Hamburger University, and of course, that demanded a campus, a hotel for students, pathways to and from the hotel, gardens, etc. They sort of super-sized things.
Today’s campus hosts Frank Lloyd Wright –inspired buildings on 88 acres of rolling terrain that features gardens, forests, and lakes all held together by trails and paved pathways that invites visitors to sample the pleasant surroundings. Somewhere along the line, MacDonald’s leased the hotel to Hyatt and it became a commercial travel lodge. Of course, customers of the hotel can roam the MacDonald’s campus at will and enjoy the luxurious gardens and the lake, Lake Fred, that fronts the hotel. Lake Fred is an example of a gardener with an unlimited budget. It is ringed with huge limestone rocks, thousands of plants, and a pathway that leads to an island featuring a small Japanese garden. Of course, the lake includes numerous fountains with lights for nighttime illumination everywhere along its scenic spots. Kroc and Turner spared no expense in building their campus.
The interior of the lodge is equally luxurious. See their web page (http://thelodge.hyatt.com/hyatt/hotels-thelodge) if you want to see photos of the rooms and public spaces in the building. Keep in mind that Kroc’s students were mostly franchisers or managers who owned one or many MacDonald’s restaurants, hence Kroc wanted to wine and dine them while ensuring their adherence to his strict standards in running the restaurants. The lodge and the campus is a great place for a wedding.
The wedding was held in one of the spacious public rooms of the lodge. The bride was beautiful and the groom was dashing, although I suspect he was a probably in a dazed state most of the time, surrounded as he was by so many females giving orders that he had to follow. Anyway, he made it through the ceremony with only a single mistake in forgetting that he was the husband during his recital of the vows.
The wedding included a ceremony where the groom and bride each poured a small amount of colored sand into a larger container. This was said to be an ancient Indian practice that seaIed a marriage. I can’t tell you any more about it because I didn’t understand it although I suppose it hinted at some sort of union. I am guessing that the groom and the most of the men in attendance failed to grasp the deep significance of the ceremony and I trust that the unfortunate breaking of the glass holding the sand will have no significance to the longevity of the marriage.
The bride and groom showed extremely good sense in sparing the attendees the tiresome and silly practices commonly encountered at most weddings. First, we were spared the long wait as pictures were taken before the ceremony so that we thirsty party-goers could rush from the wedding directly to the bar without interference. The bar was well-stocked, the bartenders congenial, and the hors d’oeuvres were delightfully served in the garden amidst the red and orange Begonias and Impatiens while the ornamental grass dipped in the warm breeze from Lake Fred. Even the guitar player had the good sense to strum tunes that were recognizable and appropriate.
When dinner was called, the bride and groom entered with the usual fanfare. They proceeded to cut their wedding cake while we were still interested and then settled down for dinner without the annoying fawning and kissing that can spoil a good meal. The toasts were short enough to be listenable, and we had an excellent dinner that was not interrupted with garters being flung about or foolish introductions of grandmothers deemed healthy enough to get dressed and have a few snorts with the younger crowd. Even the dancing after dinner was passable as those who were able and sufficiently clear-headed bounced around to music that some must have understood. I enjoyed their foolishness.
The entire affair was a delight. You should’a been there.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Betty Hoober is Gone

Dear Friends:

Betty Hoober is gone. Even though I know she is gone and will never be back, when I drive by, sometimes I wave to her vacant house. When she lived there, it was required to wave to her house whether she was visibly in residence or not. If, Lord forbid, you happened to forget to wave and she was in her customary seat by the porch window, you would soon hear about it from Betty.

Betty was a Roscommon character. She was our neighbor for several years and her leaving was sudden even though we knew it was overdue. She lived in the bright yellow house just down the road from us and she stopped by on occasion to chat. Chatting with her neighbors was her hobby. If you wanted to know anything about anyone in the neighborhood, Betty was the one to ask. Some might call it gossip. They would probably be correct although it was Betty’s entertainment so it was hard to fault her since she was an older woman with nothing much else to do.

Betty was a friendly sort; open and congenial and she expected the same from you. After meeting her, most people would learn her life story. She wasn’t shy about asking personal questions either, although, truth be told, she was more interested in telling about herself. Betty was also one to speak her mind. If you didn’t stop for a visit often enough, she was sure to tell you about it.

In addition to chatting with the neighbors, her hobby seemed to be looking out her porch window to keep track of the cars that invaded our neighborhood. Whenever a car went by that she didn’t recognize, you could expect her to come calling shortly with the inevitable question, “Did you see that brown car that went by this afternoon?” If there were ever any criminals in our neighborhood, they wouldn’t stand a chance with Betty on the job. She would know their car, where they went, where they came from, and, given an afternoon, their names and any dirt about them that happened to be known in the county.

Betty came from the south and adopted Roscommon as her home. Her story was like that of thousands: after the war, with jobs aplenty and salaries rising, lots of folks from the hills of Kentucky and Tennessee came north to work in the automobile plants. Betty and Lester were among them. Betty worked and raised one child, Dean. Although the family lived in Detroit longer than Kentucky, their legacy never left them. Betty had a pronounced accent and a manner of speaking that belied her birthplace. She was definitely a ‘down-home’ sort with a focus on the fundamentals of living and little time or interest in modern technology, world events or the complexities of modern life. With Betty, it was more about children, loving, getting along, and the price of milk.

After Lester retired, he and Betty moved to Roscommon and set up housekeeping in the modest yellow house along our road. Lester enjoyed his retirement for a few years and then died suddenly. Betty liked Roscommon and decided to stay on even though she had no family in the area and her only son, Dean, seemed content to visit by telephone. Betty’s only overnight visitor was her grandson that she called Little Dean. We could tell when he made an occasional visit by the leftovers in Betty’s yard. Over the years Little Dean left a boat, a shed, a trailer and a few other odds and ends that he couldn’t find room for in his own yard downstate.

Betty seemed happy for most of the years that we knew her. She talked about her loss of Lester but never complained of loneliness, apparently content to watch over our neighborhood, talk with the neighbors and take care of the business of daily living. Betty’s appearance seemed to fit the North Woods. She had grizzled gray hair, a girth that seemed equal to her height and an absence of teeth unless she was on one of her visiting forays around the neighborhood. She didn’t seem particularly upset if you caught her without her teeth, mostly she grinned and said she wasn’t fully dressed. She wore a coat or a sweater most of the time and complained about the snow in winter although she didn’t let it stop her from climbing in her Pontiac for a neighborhood tour.

Betty talked a lot about her health and last year she complained about feeling tired. It was a surprise some weeks later when she announced that she had visited a doctor and he said she was suffering from leukemia. After several visits, he told her that she had no more than 18 months to live. Betty decided she didn’t like her doctor so she managed to get a referral to another. After several weeks, she reported that the new doctor said she didn’t have leukemia at all. She had something else, she said, but she wasn’t clear about what it was, only that she had to take periodic blood transfusions. She said when it was her time to go, she would be ready and that was that.

Some months after Betty began seeing the new doctor, she collapsed at home and was taken to the hospital. I went to visit her and found her as feisty as ever. She didn’t seem to know what had caused her collapse, didn’t care, and was as anxious to leave the hospital as they seemed to be in discharging her. Her son Dean called while we visited and asked if she still had the big TV at her house.

After the hospitalization, Betty seemed to have lost some of her spark. Her visits became fewer and her conversation was marked by repetition and forgetfulness. Soon, Betty’s car was missing. She told me that ’they’ took her license and someone in the neighborhood must have turned her in. I suspect she was up to her old tricks of trying to find out who the culprit was. Shortly thereafter, I saw her car parked in her driveway and Little Dean was at her house. When Little Dean left, the car disappeared.

Over that winter, it became apparent that Betty needed help. Each time I visited, she said she had just talked to her son Dean and he was worried about her. I had never met the man and had never seen him at her house. During my visits, I asked Betty if she needed anything from the store since she no longer had a car. Other neighbors also helped by purchasing things for her. Several of us compared notes and observed that Betty was losing weight and becoming more confused.

Suddenly, a “For Sale” sign appeared in her yard. I asked her what was happening and she said she was going to move and Dean was helping arrange things. Some weeks later a moving van showed up in her driveway. I stopped and finally met Dean. I thought I was seeing double; he had a large waist, gray hair and no teeth and he talked with a noticeable accent. He explained that he was moving Betty to Colorado. He said he had always liked it there. He was uncertain about where they would live since they hadn’t made any arrangements about that. “There are plenty of places to rent,” his wife said. Betty smiled a toothless grin. Dean looked at her and smiled. I smiled and said goodbye to Betty.

Some weeks later, I learned from a neighbor that Betty had called. Betty reported that she and Dean had a disagreement on the way to Colorado and Dean dumped her (her words) at a nursing home and then continued on his way with her big TV. A few weeks later, about the time the bank took possession of Betty's yellow house, I learned that Betty passed away at the nursing home. I hope Dean enjoyed the big TV.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

August 2012

August is camping month for us. Through hard-won experience, we have finally learned that by August, many of the nasty biting creatures have departed making camping more bearable. The awful sand fleas that crawl up your pant legs and leave red welts as a parting gift, the tiny black flies that are said to have driven normal men insane, and finally, the bane of the North Woods, mosquitoes, have generally departed leaving us in blessed peace for a month or more before the start of cold weather. Accordingly, we camp in August. We just finished a short camping trip of four days with our granddaughters. This was a vehicle-based camping trip in our 5th wheel. We camped at Rodgers City along Lake Huron at Hoeft State Park, named after wealthy lumberman Paul Hoeft . The heavily wooded park has a one-mile long beach that watches over the sun as it rises from Canada to Michigan, illuminating heavy stands of Moose Maple and Hemlock trees nestled among the more common birch and spruce. The granddaughters had a blast digging in the sand at the beach. Grandpa and Grandma got hernias chasing after them as they ran to the beach each day. The best-known feature of Rogers City is its calcite operation. Calcite, the chemical name for calcium carbonate, is the primary constituent of limestone. Limestone is quarried at Rogers City at the largest calcite operation in the world. The limestone is shipped around the country from Rogers City, primarily by Great Lakes freighters that regularly load at the deep-water port at the quarry. Rogers City celebrates its heritage and economic mainstay with a weeklong Nautical Festival held each August. We scheduled our camping trip to enjoy the festival. The granddaughters watched the nautical-themed parade, chased after candy from the fire trucks in the parade, watched an air show and spent one late night at a sensational fireworks display. They also ate oversized hamburgers, burnt marshmallows, S’mores, and hobo pies that we roasted over the campfire. Did I mention that the Mrs. and I enjoyed all those things, also? The only difference between us and them is that she and I gained weight from our excesses while the little ones seemed to need food all the time. Maybe the excitement at the parade, the beach, the playground, the fireworks and the campfire used up all the calories they consumed. It isn’t fair. Our next camping trip in August will be a little harder as we visit the backwoods without a vehicle or electricity at our beck and call. We will be making our customary once per year trip to the Canadian forests and waters east of Lake Superior. We plan to spend a week in the backcountry using a canoe as the means of transport. I’ll let you know how we fare and whether we have been able to lose the Rogers City calories and hernias.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Why Me, Lord

Why Me, Lord? T
his year I have been spending a lot of time planting things and pulling weeds. Not of my own choice, you understand, it is because bad things seem to happen to me and I get hopelessly entangled in improbable projects through no fault of my own. I try to mind my own business and then, suddenly, here I am pulling weeds and planting flowers in the hot sun and asking, why me, Lord? The story of my weed pulling and planting may be instructional and so I am telling it here in hopes that others may avoid the same fate as me. I must warn you; the account may not be suitable for everyone since it involves an affair with another woman and an, as yet, unexplained night-time escape from Roscommon by a pair of upstanding church members. The story began about the time Marjorie and I moved to Roscommon and joined the local Methodist Church. On our first visit to the church we were greeted by a woman with a pleasant smile who engaged us in chit-chat before services began. Although she seemed pleasant enough, I assumed she had been stationed at the entrance of the church specifically to way-lay unsuspecting visitors like us with the intent of collaring us for some nefarious purpose like bell-ringing in front of a Wal-Mart or caroling at a nursing home for Christmas. To my complete surprise, she didn’t ask for anything. Instead, we had a short visit in the narthex after which we entered the main part of the church for services. I forgot all about her until the next time we visited the church and, once again, there was the pleasant gray-haired lady with the nice smile. She remembered our names and again we had a brief, but pleasant exchange about the weather only this time she suggested that we meet for coffee after church. We did, and Marjorie and I both enjoyed her congenial manner once again. During the after-church visit, I happened to mention my plan for taking up gardening in Roscommon. I may have even inadvertently led her to believe that I possessed some extraordinary gardening skills. I don’t rightly remember the details, but anyway, she chanced to mention that she had been asked to form a group who would be planning a church garden and wouldn’t it be a blessing if a man of my obvious talents would consent to offer a few opinions on the subject? The gray-haired lady with the pleasant smile who remembered my name said all of the foregoing with such obvious enthusiasm that, on the spot, I agreed to attend the organizing meeting and provide my advice. At this point in the telling, I need to interrupt my account to explain the facts of the garden that I subsequently learned later. Much later, in fact, and too late to be of any value in helping prevent my current predicament. As near as I can tell, the idea for the church garden began as an after-thought from a fund-raiser. Someone had the bright idea that they could raise funds for the church by selling bricks for $100 a pop if the bricks were inscribed with the name of a loved one. Fittingly, the bricks were called memorial bricks and most who purchased the $100 bricks asked that they be inscribed “In memory of John Doe” or something similar. The fund-raiser had already been completed when I joined the church and the funds already spent. What remained was an unlikely pile of bricks neatly stacked in the narthex with each brick having a name on it. After the bricks had remained on the floor for several months, some genius in the congregation conceived the notion that the church ought to use the bricks in some manner so why not have a Memorial Garden and use the Memorial Bricks in the garden? The question then became who would be foolish enough to take on the task of creating a garden and ‘planting’ the Memorial Bricks? Everyone in church knew the gray-haired woman with her ever-pleasant smile and her reputation as an effective volunteer for worthwhile projects. Maybe she could be convinced to take on the task, the Pastor reasoned. It turned out that she was too smart even for a seasoned veteran like the Pastor who had seen his share of fund-raisers and botched projects like church gardens. When the wily old preacher approached the gray-haired lady she said of course, she would be happy to help BY GETTING A COMMITTEE TOGETHER WHO WOULD TAKE ON THE ACTUAL TASK. Such was the situation when I happened to drink coffee with the gray-haired lady and agreed to attend the first meeting. She began the meeting of the Memorial Garden Committee with a little speech about the need for a leader who could take on the job of developing a garden. Most of us in the meeting used the next several minutes to study our fingernails. After an awkward silence, one man and wife team announced that the two of them would volunteer to become co-chairs of the effort. In short order, the wife took over the meeting and outlined a plan for removing sod from the designated area as a first step in creating a garden. The husband nodded his head and announced his plan to build a pergola in the cleared area. Things seemed to be progressing nicely until the pair asked for workers to implement the plan and, once again, a deadly silence prevailed over the meeting. I decided to study my fingernails again. After inspecting them carefully, I looked up to survey the committee members and from the corner of my eye I saw the gray-haired lady’s ever-present smile begin to fade. I surprised myself. “Aw shucks,” I said, “I’ll be happy to help get things started.” Her smile returned. So I helped in removing the sod. Later, I took on additional gardening tasks when I realized that, except for the couple who led the project, most of the other gardeners were either codgers so old they could barely pick up a shovel or goldbrickers with more excuses than a seventh-grade truant. Nevertheless, during the first year of operation the garden was laid out, the pergola was built and flowers were planted. Then a catastrophe struck. The co-leaders of the garden suddenly decided to leave the church – they sold their home and moved away, almost in the middle of the night, it seemed. Suddenly, it seemed to me that I was the only active worker on the committee and if we were to have a garden at all I would need to take charge. So I did. Fast forward several years. The garden has become a beautiful, quiet corner of the church as result of lots of work and help from several folks. Although I frequently grumble about the work and ask, why me, I admire the colorful perennials and the climbing vines over the pergola. I laid the paving stones under the pergola so that visitors could sit on the benches in the shade of the vines and gaze at the names of those who have gone before. Sometimes, when I work among the flowers and the shrubs and the trees and the Memorial Bricks under the pergola, I look at the stone I laid in memory of the gray-haired lady with the ever-present smile, and I imagine she is still smiling.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Meeting Dr. Boneright

Yesterday, Marjorie and I were sitting on the deck in the warm afternoon sun enjoying an adult beverage when Woody the Woodpecker landed on one of our aspen trees at the edge of our woods. (Woody’s real name is Pileated Woodpecker but he took his more famous name when Hollywood producer Walter Lantz encountered the bird during his honeymoon. Lantz reported that the annoying woodpecker kept the couple awake at night boring holes in their honeymoon cabin. Lantz used Woody for one of his cartoons and the bird became famous and an immediate success along with Lantz’s other characters Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck) Since Marjorie knew that a Pileated is an energetic searcher for bugs on trees, we sat entranced as the big bird began his search for dinner at about eye level. And then he did a strange thing; he began to climb down the tree backwards, rump end first, sashaying back and forth, but steadily descending the large trunk with an occasional peck at the tree. And then he was gone, presumably off to another tree with more appealing bug prospects. The bird’s antics reminded me of myself and own search for the meaning of life, traveling life’s highway, going backwards most of the time. Such is an apt description of the process I used to find a new Roscommon-area dentist to help manage my dental health. Of course, I didn’t take the matter of finding a new dentist lightly, I used my time-honored technique of closing my eyes and pointing my finger at a list of dentists in the telephone book. The practitioner that I pointed to was Dr. Boneright, a new dentist to the Roscommon area according to the yellow pages. He was a young man judging by his photograph (one plus), he had an attractive assistant, (another plus), and he was accepting new patients for his growing business. What else did I need? I called his office and made an appointment. Some days later I found myself in Dr. Boneright’s waiting room for my first dental examination. When Dr. Boneright came into the room, I was surprised at how young he seemed. I wondered if he had finished high school. He said hello and showed off a mouthful of pearly whites as he explained that he would examine my teeth and then discuss what work I needed. Before I could inquire about prices and billing, he had slipped a large metal spoon in my mouth, prized open one side of my face, and began his examination, thus rendering any further discussion impossible. I sat there quietly as he began using a small round mirror, a stick, and a flashlight strapped to his forehead. Apparently, he didn’t find enough problems to justify his fee, so he reached for another tool, a metal probe with a cruel pointy tip that he began pushing into my gums to my despair. This depravity seemed to stimulate him – I could hear what seemed to be a satisfied grunt as he pushed the probe around one tooth after another, inflicting one new sharp pain after another as he forced the probe into my gums when it didn’t go in far enough to satisfy him. “There she is,” he said.Suddenly he took the stick, the spoon, and the mirror from my mouth and leaned close to me as if we were about to plan a major heist. “I knew there was a cavity in there someplace,” he said. The next 20 minutes were filled with more fingers in my mouth and several x-rays taken only after everyone except me ran from the room. After that, I was left alone in the dental chair surrounded by various objects designed for inflicting pain. It wasn’t a positive experience. The doctor didn’t help my composure when he returned and told me that my cavity seemed really deep but he thought he could save the tooth without a root canal. I told him that I hoped he was right since I guessed the difference was several hundred dollars. He said he could do the job right away and he began loading my mouth with tools for his next sadistic adventure. Almost before I knew what was happening, he plunged a foot- long needle into my sore mouth and loaded me up with Novocain, then left the room again. I sat there quietly wondering what could possibly be worse than the cruel probe and the long needle. I soon discovered what it was. I awoke from my Novocain-induced daze when he and his assistant came back into the room. She proceeded to stretch open my mouth while he loaded me up with more tools, including a nasty-looking drill. It sounded like a chain saw when he started drilling but it seemed to operate more like an air hammer. I held on to the chair with clenched fists and curled toes. I could tell the dentist was making progress when smoke and flame started wafting from my open mouth. A foul smell filled the room and I suddenly realized it was coming from my mouth. Dr. Boneright abruptly stopped drilling and took his large fist out of my mouth that was stretched about four times its normal size. “How ya doing?” he asked. His question was accompanied by a diabolical smile that split his face. I was beginning to dislike the man. “Ids no tooo bad,” I said with a frozen tongue and a mouth full of tools. The doctor seemed to take that as encouragement because he leaned forward, reinserted the drill and began creating the Grand Canyon in my tooth. While he was engaged, his dental assistant continued stretching my mouth and spraying cold water, presumably to keep the flames down. At that point, the pain began. I found myself exercising my sphincter in a search for relief. I decided to speak up. “Dere iss sum pane wen du puss da drill sew hart,” I murmured. The doctor had suddenly become hard-of- hearing; he continued the drilling while I concentrated on my sphincter squeezing. My efforts in pain relief helped; either that, or the second level of Novocain kicked in because my memory of the remainder of the drilling is foggy. I only know that as soon as he finished drilling, I checked the dental chair beneath me to find that it was still clean, thus preserving a small measure of my dignity. The remainder of the procedure, filling the Grand Canyon with some mysterious concoction, proceeded without a hitch with the assistant doing much of the work. She seemed sympathetic and I liked her despite her prior excess in mouth stretching. Since my Roscommon dental visit occurred two weeks ago, I am pleased to report that my mouth has returned to its normal size and I can now sleep most nights without dreaming about an air hammer in my mouth. Although I haven’t received the final bill from Dr. Boneright, I think he has restored my dental health so I’m thankful for that. Oh, and by the way, if you happen to see a Pileated Woodpecker, for some while I suggest that you avoid visiting any professional who earns a living by inspecting body cavities. On the other hand, if there is someone you hate, I can provide you Dr. Boneright’s office address as a referral. Grandpa Bill

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Bonus Army/Excerpt from Bill's New Book

Ora decided to do a little further investigation before he met up with Fred again. He went to visit another veteran, this one an official of the local Veterans of Foreign Wars, universally known as the VFW. Ora learned that almost all of Fred’s information was accurate. Congress had passed a law authorizing a bonus to veterans of the war. The law provided that all vets be given a bonus, the amount awarded depending upon their time of service during the war: the award was $1 per day for each day served between the dates April 5, 1917 and July 1, 1919, about $1.25 a day for those who served overseas during that period. The bill provided that the payouts be given in 1945, enough time to allow the U. S Treasury to accumulate the needed funds without the need for added taxes by most calculations.
The VFW man told Ora that the new thing about the bonus was that Congress had a new member, Wright Patman, Congressman from Texas who was demanding immediate payment of the bonus. He said that Patman had been in the artillery during the war and understood the desperate straits most vets were now in because of the hard times. The VFW man showed Ora a copy of a letter from Patman that had been widely circulated. It was a letter to his sister during the war and it showed his thinking about war and the needs of common people in the U.S. Ora quickly scanned the letter untill he came to the part about the artillery.
“What you would call a bullet is as big as a stovepipe and twice as long. It costs the government $1,250 to fire one of them.” The letter went on to note that soldiers fired the shells all day long and that a single firing was the equivalent cost of 10 new schoolhouses in their native Texas rural area.
Wright Patman returned home from the war and entered politics. Now he was a representative and the Chair of the powerful Banking Committee. Patman had introduced a bill for immediate payment of the 1924 bonus, said to be worth around $1,000 for most vets when it came due in 1945.
Ora was stunned by all Fred and the VFW man had told him. The amount of money they talked about, $1,000, was almost beyond belief for Ora. Why, having that much money would be like being the owner of the Eston Piano Company. Ora had a fitful night’s sleep as he rolled over the information he had learned.
Fred came the next day with more information about the Bonus March. Most of what he said was true, based on what Ora had learned from the VFW. Fred said that veterans all across the country were going to converge on Washinton, D. C. and demonstrate in front of the Congress so that they would vote in favor of the Patman bill. It seemed a simple matter to Fred; demonstrate your power with hordes of veterans, and the Congress will do your bidding.
Ora wasn’t convinced and he had a lot of questions.
“How would we get there? I don’t have money for gas, probably my old truck wouldn’t last that long anyway.”
Fred seemed to have most of the answers. Those that he didn’t know, provoked a shrug, “It’ll all work out,” he said.
Fred’s plan was that shared by thousands of other veterans across the country – they would ride the rails to Washington, camp at some installation close to Congress and march in front of the Capital and The White House, if necessary, and stay until Congress came up with their paycheck. It would be like being back in the Army for a while.
It seemed entirely too simple to Ora for it to succeed. He promised Fred that he would sleep on the idea and discuss it with Nellie. To Ora’s surprise, Nellie thought it was a good idea. She could manage their little farm while Ora was gone, and it would give him something to do instead of sitting on their porch day after day. With Nellie’s blessing, Ora told Fred he was going and the two made their plans to leave the following week, the third Monday in May, 1932.
The night before he was to leave, Ora had second thoughts but Nellie was supportive of the trip to Washington. It seemed to her that the veterans who were marching were doing a civic duty by urging the Congress to do something that would support the entire country, especially since the money had already been earmarked for the vets. Before Fred arrived the next morning, Ora and Nellie shared a private goodbye. Ora said he would return home as soon as he could and he hoped to be back before the month ended.
Ora fingered the money he was taking with him. It was the last of their savings from the bank, a little over $11. Nellie pressed $4 more into his hand even though he was reluctant to take it. As Ora had guessed, Fred had no money at all. The two each had a bedroll and a small mess kit but no other clothes besides clean underwear.
Fred and Ora left home that Monday and made their way to the train tracks on the west side of town. They knew an east-bound freight train would be leaving sometime in the morning and they wanted to be sure to find an empty boxcar without attracting attention. They were surprised when they crawled aboard a car to find two other men already hiding in the shadows. No one said a word as Fred closed the big door and they settled themselves in a corner, waiting for the telltale jerk announcing the beginning of their journey.
The first part of the ride east was long, slow, noisy and uncomfortable. The train made numerous short stops, but the men couldn’t determine their location most of the time and they were afraid to leave the car for fear of being left behind. They traveled all day long and through the night before their boxcar finally rolled onto a siding. They had traveled nearly 24 hours to reach Toledo, a port town on Lake Erie about 100 miles from Bluffton. Fred and Ora scrambled out of the boxcar. Before they had walked 50 feet, they saw a group of men sitting around a campfire a short distance from the train yard. “Let’s go see if we can find something to eat,” Fred said as he walked toward the group assembled around the campfire. Ora said nothing but fell in stride with Fred.
They soon learned that the men around the campfire were also headed to Washington. They were part of the Bonus Army, they said, and they were willing to share a bowl of their mulligan stew from vegetables that had been donated by the Toledo VFW. Fred and Ora quickly joined the circle. The men were waiting for the next freight headed east that was rumored for tomorrow morning. One of the men had a hand-lettered sign that he kept close at hand. Bonus Army Veterans, it said in bold black letters. He said that the sign had helped provide food for his journey since its beginning in Minnesota. He said he had been on his way for more than a week and he expected to be on the road for another week or two. The hard realization swept over Ora and Fred that their plan to return home within the month was not likely.
The dozen men around the circle spent the rest of the day talking and smoking. Someone had procured coffee from somewhere so several pots were boiled that substituted as dinner. No one complained. The talk turned to hardships of the Depression. Some of the men said that 1932 was the cruelest year yet of the Great Depression. They said that newspapers had been reporting on the terrible financial straits and that President Hoover seemed not to understand the pain most Americans felt.
The fact was that Hoover was a wealthy man, having earned his fortune by hard work and rapid progress as a mining engineer, but he seemed out of touch with the common man even though his parents had been poor. In one famous remark, Hoover said that in America, “Nobody is actually starving.” He couldn’t have been more wrong; two cities, New York and San Franciso, reported that 110 of their citizens had been found dead that month with the cause being malnutrition. Most were children.
Hoover opposed the Wright Patman bill that demanded immediate payment to the veterans instead of making them wait until 1945. Hoover made it known that if Congress passed the bill he would veto it. Veterans all across the country began singling out the President and his Treaury Secretary Andrew Mellon for abuse especially after Mellon was implicated in shady financial transactions that abetted his personal fortune.
A favorite refrain summed up widespread public opinion:
“Mellon pulled the whistle.
Hoover rang the bell,
Wall Street gave the signal,
And the country went to hell.”
The group had grown; instead of the14 assembled yesterday, another nine had appeared out of nowhere. The car now had 23 men. The car they settled in had been used for transporting beef to market. It stank, but at least it was clean. The advantage of this car was that the men could see each other and the countryside with the sunlight that filtered in through the slatted walls. Ora looked about at the odd collection of men. The faces that looked back at him sat atop thin, gaunt bodies; most got by on two meals a day; most were hungry on this day.
The thin bodies were covered in a variety of clothing. Most, like Fred, had managed to put together old and worn pieces of their military uniforms so they could be readily identified as veterans. Ora felt a little conspicuous with his carefully pressed army uniform that he had never worn since his days in the service. Some of the former soldiers wore their medals and a few had other military insignia and service ribbons that they proudly displayed. Three of the veterans had other marks of their service; two walked with the aid of a cane and one had a mangled arm that hung uselessly at his side. These three had to be helped aboard the boxcar
One of the new men from Toledo was elected Captain of the group when it was revealed that he had worked for a railroad and knew the practices of conductors and railroad security. A group of three men were assigned as quartermasters - their job was to solicit food for the group by whatever means was chosen. Two other men were chosen as cooks after they reported they had cooked in the army.
The discussion on procurement of food resulted in the agreement that the men should pool their money for whatever purchases were needed and that it should be controlled by a man chosen as Treasurer. This discussion about procurement prompted a roll call among the men to determine how much cash was available for emergency food purchases. When the assessment of their available cash was taken, Ora was astonished to learn that most of the men had no money at all. He knew Fred was broke, but he was struck by that fact that most of the other men were in no better shape. Ora’s $11 (he had temporized in his report that the other $4 in his pocket was really Nellie’s money and not his to give away.) was the largest bankroll of the group – several men had two or three dollars and the next largest bankroll after Ora’s was a man with $7. Ora was elected Treasurer to manage their combined bankroll of $36, and Fred was given the task of planning entertainment in camp.
The man voted captain decided to circulate among the railroad workers to find when the next east-bound train would depart. When he returned he called another meeting of the men to announce that they would be leaving that afternoon. The trip east began again. Ora and Fred spent their fifth day on the road just 100 miles from where they had begun.
The train trip east continued for the next two weeks. Most times the men traveled from town to town, established a camp and then met with the local VFW, Red Cross, American Legion or other civic group willing and able to help supply food for veterans who had nothing. As the Treaurer for the group, Ora purchased food on those few occasions when donated food was not available. Generally, he purchased vegetables and only enough meat to flavor a stew. In addition to stew, the men had bread and coffee for dinner and oatmeal for breakfast. No one complained since many had fared on even less food before the trip began.
Fred arranged for evening programs when the men arrived early enough to plan an event. If there weren’t enough time or daylight to organize a show or a baseball game, Fred planned another activity that everyone could join. One resource Fred discovered was the two men he found who were accomplished singers. After a tune or two of their own, the two would lead the group in singing patriotic songs or marches that they had learned in the army. The Bonus Army men kept busy in this fashion had little time or energy for complaining.
Ora learned a lot about the Bonus Army men during the long trip east. One of the most striking things he learned was how he lucky he and Fred were compared to most of the men they traveled with. All were unemployed and most hadn’t worked in two years or more. Many had lost their homes, most were hungry, and many had ailments of one sort or another either related to injuries from their war service or from the severity of a life with inadequate food and shelter. Ora was reluctant to talk about his home life with Nellie because of his relative wealth compared to most of the others. Countless times during the long trip in the boxcars, Ora thanked his lucky stars that he lived in a small community surrounded by rich farmlands where food was relatively abundant.
At each stop, the little Bonus Army that Ora and Fred had joined added a few more men. By the time their group was closing in on Washington, D. C. they had grown from 23 to 147 veterans, each one jobless, each hoping for a payday from the United States Congress, each expecting that his share of the money would help reset his path to financial recovery. It was a dream, but one that was shared by thousands of veterans converging on the nation’s capital.



The train arrived at Union Station in the middle of a bright sunny afternoon. The Bonus Army men stumbled from the cars as soon as the train came to a stop. By now, the group had a practiced routine of gathering alongside the tracks and coming to order with the captain shouting orders for their next move. This time, their assembly was interrupted by the presence of another tight knot of men at the edge of the tracks. The captain of the Ora’s group, now called the Ohio group, walked toward the knot of men. At the center of the group was a slender man of medium height who seemed to have the respect of those around him. He was dressed in a clean khaki uniform with tall black boots and a nametag over his left breast pocket. As Ora and Fred joined the group, he was talking earnestly, and the men around him were nodding gravely.
Walter Waters was a jobless veteran like thousands of others converging on Washington. He was married, hadn’t had a job for two years and believed that the nation owed its veterans a bonus and that the bonus should be paid now to help lift the nation from the depression. The difference between Waters and the thousands of other vets who believed similarly, was that Waters had a gift for gab, and he found a ready ear among the newspapers in his native Oregon. Over the last two years he had been speaking publicly about the bonus with the result that he developed a following of men and women who helped organize rallies where he spoke dozens of times to the acclaim of various organizations and news agencies. The result of his long effort had been the march on Washington. He personally led a group of veterans from Oregon and the group rode boxcars just as Ora and thousands of others.
Waters had been a sergeant in the army and had no particular qualifications to lead a march of 10 men, let alone the 20,000 believed either enroute or already in the capital. Yet the fact was that Waters, more than anyone else, had galvanized veterans from across the nation to bring pressure on Congress by means of a physical presence in the capital. Waters had become an accomplished public speaker and he had led one of the first veterans groups across the nation with much fanfare. When he arrived in Washington, he met with Washington’s sympathetic Chief of Police, Pelham Glassford. Glassford helped Waters and his group set up the first of many camps around Washington as they began planning their activities for lobbying the Congress.
Ora and Fred and the rest of the predominantly Ohio veterans were herded from the station to a group of open-back trucks waiting for them. As soon as they were aboard, the trucks left the station and headed south, traveling past the Capitol building and the center of Washington. The vets in the parade of trucks were all wide-eyed with their first glimpse of the gleaming white government buildings that struck them as outrageously ornate, large and elegant beyond their previous experience. None of the vets riding in the open trucks with the noise and the sun and wind, could imagine going to work inside one of the attractive buildings behind the broad facades to earn a regular, dependable wage that could support a family.
The trucks took the vets to the largest of the Bonus Army camps that had sprung up in Washington. The camp was known as The Anacostia Camp as it was on the south side of the Anacostia River. The site had been chosen by Glassford since it was an unoccupied stretch of land that no one cared about as it was a floodplain, readily susceptible to regular flooding, and adjacent to a city dump. The vets thought it was perfect.
One of the reasons the vets liked the spot was because of the nearby dump. None of the vets had the means to establish any sort of living quarters, not even a tent. The dump provided the materials for their shelter. The first vets to arrive at the Anacostia site raided the dump and took whatever materials they could find to build a shelter of one sort or another. What they found were discards of all description. The vets were creative if nothing else and a village of sorts was soon erected.
Shacks soon arose from the floodplain made from all manner of materials. The first arrivals found discarded lumber and odd pieces of plywood and tin. Soon, those ‘conventional’ materials were all taken forcing the use of more creative housing materials such as cardboard, flattened metal nailed onto a few boards, assorted bricks and stone piled high and covered with shingles or whatever else was available. A few vets found old car bodies in the dump and dragged those to the camp to serve as living quarters. The materials and shapes used as living quarters were so varied that the only things that seemed out of place at The Anacostia Camp were conventional tents and lumber.
The Chief of Police of Washington, D. C., Pelham Glassford, was sympathetic to the plight of the Bonus Army veterans. He understood the potential for civil unrest and possible rioting with so many men in town who had no money, nothing to occupy their time and no means to support themselves. Glassford decided that whatever could be done to ease the plight of the vets would ultimately be in the best interests of both the city and the nation. Unfourtunately, Glassford’s bosses, the Board of Comisonners for the city, didn’t share his view nor did President Hoover, who was keenly aware of the presence of the Bonus Army. The result was that Glassford, on his own initiative, did everything he could to help the vets and make their accomodations as comfortable as possible despite the lack of support from those leaders who controlled the purse strings who chose not to help. The consequence was that Glassford dipped into his own pockets to provide help and requisitioned supplies for the vets from Federal depots without authority.
Glassford and Waters worked together to create an orderly camp that operated much like a military camp. Glassford obtained a large tent that served as kitchen and mess hall. He requisitioned camp kitchen tools from the army and solicited food donations from the Red Cross and other city agencies. When those sources were exhausted, Glassford bought food from his own pocket. He also provided lumber so the men could erect a large stage that fronted an area that became the parade grounds for the camp. Waters used the stage to address the men and he demanded that they assemble on the parade grounds in orderly groups following an organization that was established based on their origin. Fred and Ora mustered as a part of the Ohio group and were told to establish a campsite with the rest of the Ohio men.
Ora and Fred spent their first days at The Anacostia Camp searching for materials for a shelter. The weather had been pleasant since they arrived and their bedrolls furnished their only shelter for the first week. Their search of the dump was fruitless; most of the materials from the dump that could be used had already been taken. They decided to expand their search to another part of the city. After a hike of less than a half mile, they came upon a city park and a city work crew that were trimming trees. Ora watched the men cutting limbs from a tree and he noticed how some of the long and straight poles were being thrown out just as were the smaller tree branches. He turned to Fred. “I think we just found our shelter,” he said.
They watched the work crew for several minutes before they approached the man who seemed to be the foreman of the group. The outgoing Fred struck up a conversation and the three were soon laughing as if they were old friends. By the end of 10 minutes, Ora and Fred had arranged to have the crew deliver a truckload of the straightest and longest branches and trees to the camp at the end of their work shift. Ora and Fred returned to the camp. Ora went to find Walter Waters to explain his plan while Fred was commissioned to find a supply of twine that could be used to lash the poles together.
The poles arrived that evening as planned and Fred showed up at their campsite with a large bundle of twine. Ora decided that it was better not to ask where and how the twine had been obtained. The two began work immediately as several other vets gathered to watch. By the time it was dark, Ora and Fred and two other men who offered help had the major part of a small building standing upright with the corner poles securely buried in the mucky soil. They had lashed the poles together to form a small building that was large enough for two bedrolls, a small bench, and a space in the corner large enough for one man to stand upright while getting dressed.
There was no floor, a single opening for a window, no door, and a shed roof made from slender poles that wouldn’t discourage even the smallest rain from soaking everything within. Yet Ora and Fred were proud of their handiwork as they rolled out their beds in their new home. Word spread around camp and by noon of the following day, several dozen men had come by to inspect their work and offer opinions about obtaining a door, window, and covering for the roof. By the end of the next day pieces of cardboard, a scrap of fabric and several pieces of tin were delivered to Ora’s door by other Bonus Army men, completing one more shanty in a camp of a few thousand.
Waters tried to keep records of the Bonus Army marchers, but in the end it was impossible as men came and left without fanfare, some discouraged and giving up after a few days for a long trip home. The main focus of the veterans was to lobby for passage of the Wright Patman bill that would provide immediate payment of the bonus. Congress was in session during that summer and debate on the bill was scheduled. Hoover had made it clear that he was opposed to the bill and that if it were passed he would veto it. His threat was not enough to discourage Waters. He told newsmen that the vets were planning to remain in Washington until the bill was passed no matter how long it took.
During the second week of their visit, Ora was summoned to the parade grounds to serve as a representative for the Ohio regiment. He arrived to find Waters and Glassford at the front of a group of 40 or 50 vets, each of whom represented a section of the camp. Glassford was easy to spot; he had ridden his police motorcycle into the camp, and he was resplendent in his dark blue police uniform. He stood directly in front of the group, ignoring a small water puddle that lapped at his shiny black boots.
Waters asked for silence then made quick headcount before starting the meeting. He explained that the Patman bill was coming to a vote in the House on the following day and he wanted the entire Bonus Army to demonstrate in front of the Capitol. Glassford was alarmed at the idea and he lost no time in saying so. It would be the first time the entire Bonus Army was assembled in one place and he was concerned that too many men urged on by the presence of newsmen and cameras might make an explosive situation, especially if the men were hungry and tired and had no place to rest or the means to escape Washington’s hot, muggy weather.
Waters was adamant that the Bonus Army should march to the Capitol no matter the weather and no matter the food supply situation. Glassford warned that his police would be forced to protect the city and government property and would tolerate no unruly behavior. He said he thought the whole demonstration was too riskly, especially since Waters couldn’t say how many men would join the march. Waters thought that there were 28,000 marchers in town, but he couldn’t be sure and he couldn’t guarantee that all would be well-behaved. Waters asked for comments from the men assembled at the parade ground. There was silence as each man looked about. Ora took a deep breath, raised his hand, and stepped forward to speak. The men around him provided space and he found himself uncomfortably at the front, facing Waters and Glassford.
Ora’s voice was loud and firm. “I traveled a long way to get here just like the 100 or more other men in our group. We came without money, without food and without shelter and it was a hard trip. But we came to let the Congress know how we feel about getting our Bonus. Now if I go home without having a chance to show the Congress why I’m here, why shame on me. I know the other Ohio men feel the same way: we want to march, we want to tell Congress to pass this bill.” Ora stepped backward. He suddenly felt exhausted after his unwanted role as spokesman. As he sought the comfort of anonymity, he heard men all around him saying, “That’s right.” “You got that right.” Suddenly a rhythmic sound of clapping began. Waters looked at Glassford as the sound increased in volume as all the men joined in.
Waters waited until the clapping ceased. He turned to Glassford. “I guess you heard our answer. We’re going to march tomorrow.”
The next morning at precisely 8:00AM the three open-backed trucks showed up at the camp and the men from the meeting began to climb in. Except Ora. Waters invited Ora to ride to the Capitol with the camp leaders but Ora declined, saying that he wanted to walk with the men.
The remainder of the men assembled at the parade grounds at 8:30 AM for the march to the Capitol. Each unit marched as a group, each led by a man carrying an American flag. Most of the groups began singing as they crossed the bridge over the Anacostia River. The first to cross was the New York veterans, and they were met by photographers and newsmen from the Washington newspapers, as well as other photographers from several magazines. The Bonus Army was getting exactly the publicity they wanted.
The hour-long march to the capital took the vets past both The Navy Yard and past a U. S. Marine Corp barracks. Each of the military facilities flew an American flag at their entrance and as the vets passed by, each of the marchers saluted in a silent display of patriotism. It was easy to tell the men were solid patriots. Most wore some fragment of a military uniform and most tried to march in ranks as they slowly moved toward the capital.
The vets were also awed by the Capitol and each marching unit fell silent as they approached the low hill. An oval-shaped paved road circumscribed the Capitol. The marchers began their slow walk around the building. Many of the men had brought signs with them that they held aloft as they marched. Around and around the long oval road they marched with little to sustain them except the hope that Congress would pass a law that would put food in their bellies and return a measure of dignity to their lives. At the end of the day, they trudged back to the camp not knowing if Congress had heard their message.
News soon came that the House of Representatives voted and the Bonus Bill passed! The vets spent long hours at the camp congratulating themselves on their effort and the good news. A few of the wiser ones counseled restraint and indicated that the Senate had yet to pass the bill and that if the bill were to become law, the Senate had to have enough votes to override an expected Presidential veto.  

The enthusiasm at the camp reached a new high with the news that the House had passed the Bonus Bill. That enthusiasm began to dwindle with each passing day as the vets waited for news of the Senate’s action on the Bill. Ora was becoming especially anxious. He missed Nellie and the boredom of sitting around the camp coupled with the hardship of everyday life at the camp were beginning to grate on him. He and Fred had lengthy discussions about returning home to Bluffton despite the general agreement among most of the vets that they needed to remain until Congress passed the bill.
Ora wondered how the vets at the Anacostia Camp and at other camps around Washington could be so patient to wait week after week living on the edge of starvation. It was true that some of the men had their families with them. Their wives and children shared the meager food, lack of sanitation, heat, rain and cool nights with little more than a roof over their heads. After talking with scores of men, Ora finally understood; most of the vets had nowhere else to go. They had no job and in consequence of having no income, most had lost their homes. For them, Washington was as good a place as any other to endure the pain of the Great Depression.
There were some people in Washington who wished the Bonus Army would leave. One was President Hoover. He had announced numerous times that he was opposed to the Bonus and that he would veto the Bill if it came before him. He didn’t like the constant reminder of having the veterans underfoot, especially since he was afraid that they might mob any function he attended and threaten his safety. The vets were also a drag on his upcoming campaign. He expected that the ever-present veterans and their signs demanding help would spoil any publicity he might strive for in Washington.
Another small group wishing the Bonus Army would depart Washington were the Commissioners for the city. These men were the highest-level administrators of the city and they supervised all the city department heads including the Chief of Police, Pelham Glassford. Glassford had succeeded thus far in keeping the peace with the Bonus Army by cooperating and assisting them within the limits of his authority. His bosses, the Commisioners, had repeatedly suggested that he take a hard line with the Bonus Army and they would have been only too happy to see the group depart.
Just as Ora was at the end of his patience with the political process the news came down from Waters – the Senate was preparing to vote on the Bonus Bill. The word spread through the camp like wildfire and the vets hurriedly assembled in front of the Capitol without urging from Glassford. By dusk, Ora, Fred, and 10,000 other vets were shuffling their feet on the Capitol grounds awaiting word of the vote. Suddenly silence swept over the assembled men. Ora could just make out the outline of the slender Walter Waters standing at the top of the stairs leading into the Capital. Ora was too far back in the crowd to make out Waters precise words but the message was unmistakable. The vets had lost. The Senate voted against the Bonus Bill 62 to 18. The vets stood in stunned silence, uncertain what to do next. Waters gave the answer “Sing America and go back to your billets,” he ordered. The men silently started home.
The result of the Senate vote was enough for Ora; he was ready to go home. He and Fred talked about it at length and Fred reluctantly agreed. The two men began preparing to leave but not quite soon enough. The District Commisioners had enough of the ragged Bonus Army and their living in abandoned buildings in the city. When Walter Waters announced that the Bonus Army was going to stay regardless of the Senate vote, the Commisioners ordered Glassford to clear the veterans from Washington’s central city, beginning with those living in several of Washington’s decrepit old buildings.
Glassford reluctantly ordered his officers to begin the eviction. The police assembled and began marching toward the downtown area. In an ironic twist of fate, a crowd of the Bonus Army men gathered to watch the marching officers and cheered as they passed by in a patriotic gesture of goodwill toward the marching police officers. The cheers turned to gasps as the police entered one of the buildings that had no front wall and was open to view by all. The officers began ordering people to leave their makeshift living quarters immediately. Their demands were punctuated with the use of nightsticks and drawn pistols.
Men, women and children began running in all directions at the sight of the drawn weapons. Suddenly a melee broke out and the officers were pelted by bricks. Shots rang out as the officers tried to protect themselves and two of the Bonus Army men fell, mortally wounded.
“Stop that shooting!”
It was Glassford. He ran to the sound of the firing and took command by climbing atop a pile of bricks. “Come on boys, let’s call an armistice for lunch,” he yelled. The resulting cheers and laughter defused the tense situation. The police backed away and allowed the veterans time to collect their belongings before leaving what had been their temporary homes. The eviction then proceeded in a more orderly fashion.
The news of the eviction and the shootings flew around Washington and simultaneously landed in Federal and city offices. The District Commissioners met and in a hurried consultation decided to request Federal troops to reinforce the police force. At nearly the same time, the Attorney General, acting with the consent of the President, decided that Federal troops should clear all the Bonus Army encampments, not just those in the downtown area. The order was sent to the Army Chief of Staff, Douglas MacArthur.
Against the advice of his aide, Dwight Eisenhower, the publicity-seeking MacArthur decided to personally command the troops. Eisenhower later recalled, “I told that dumb SOB not to go downtown, that it was no place for the Chief of Staff to command.” Since newsmen and photographers would no doubt be present, MacArthur first stopped to change into his dress uniform and he ordered Eisenhower to do the same. He then signed orders for troops to assemble near the Capitol. The troops he ordered included 600 men from the infantry, a unit of cavalry and an armored group. The armored unit consisted of a group of six heavy French tanks commanded by another ambitious officer, George S Patton.
It was late afternoon before the assembled horses, tanks, and troops began their journey to those downtown buildings inhabited by the Bonus Army. News of the troop movements flew faster than the moving army that was marching slowly behind trucks and horses; their presence announced by the rhythmic clatter of horseshoes on pavement echoing between tall buildings. Workers from government office buildings spilled out into the streets at the sound of the army’s marchers. When it became clear what was in store, American troops attacking American veterans, the office workers shouted, “Shame, Shame” at the stone-faced officers.
When the army reached the first of the decrepit buildings inhabited by the Bonus Army veterans, most ran for their lives. A few hold-outs stood firm and began pelting the troops with bricks. It was a vain attempt to show their anger as the hold-outs were quickly sent packing by teargas canisters, bayonets and swinging sabre blades. The army made short work of routing the veterans from their temporary living quarters.
It was dark when MacArthur decided the downtown work was finished and that the troops should proceed for the large Bonus Army camp on the south side of the Anacostia River. Glassford learned of MacArthur’s plans and raced his motorcycle toward the camp to warn the vets. Waters was not in camp. Glassford began riding his motorcycle through camp warning all who would listen.
President Hoover had a change of heart. After learning details of the troop action in town and the deaths of citizens, he sent an urgent dispatch to MacArthur ordering him not to cross the Anacostia River Bridge. MacArthur read the dispatch but decided to ignore the order and proceeded to cross the bridge. Before the infantry moved forward, he ordered that bayonets be fixed, tear gas canisters prepared, and cavalry swords held at the ready. The army moved forward and entered the camp, failing to salute the American flag hoisted at its entrance. It was the first time one American army had attacked another since the Civil War, one army equipped with the latest weapons and the other with sticks and stones.
A few veterans, warned of the oncoming troops, stood in the shadows armed with stones. As the troops advanced they let loose with their missiles and then disappeared into the darkness. The troops responded by aiming teargas canisters in the general direction of the incoming stones.
Ora and Fred were sound asleep in their bedrolls. Ora thought he was dreaming of the trenches in World War I when he heard the sounds of war. He roused himself from sleep when he heard neighbors shouting urgently, “Let’s go! “Let’s go!”
Suddenly, the beam of a powerful searchlight played across the front of their tiny shack, illuminating it as never before. The light awoke Fred.
“What’s happening,” he muttered.
“I don’t know,” Ora said as he scrambled from bed and stuck his head past the dirty burlap drape that served as their front door. He saw the search light and the reflected light of flames that seemed to be coming from the front of the camp. Scores of men were running down the road that fronted their shack.
“Hey, what’s happening,” Ora shouted at one of the runners.
“You’d better get going. The army has attacked,” the man shouted breathlessly as he continued his fevered pace down the road.
Ora turned to Fred.
“Did you hear that?”
Fred answered by bolting out of bed and gathering his few possessions in a single wad and stuffing the whole into the bed roll. Ora followed suit and within three minutes the two men were out the door of the little shack that had been their home for the past several weeks, each shouldering all they owned.
Once outside, the noise of the attack made it obvious the warning was correct. The sound from the front of the camp made it clear that the camp was on fire; the tarpaper, cardboard and wooden shacks were burning like a bonfire at a 4th of July picnic. The light from the fires illuminated the entire camp and Ora and Fred saw people running in all directions. It was clear from the pandemonium that the army was serious about what they were doing.
Fred started down the road, away from the entrance to the camp and the sound of the lumbering tanks that had now made it onto the parade grounds.
“Wait a minute,” Ora said. “Let’s get to the back of the camp.”
Ora pointed past their shack to the dark outlines of other shacks that sat along the rearmost road of the camp. Fred hesitated and then followed as Ora led the way through the dark toward the back of the camp. The pair reached the last row of shacks and then turned left, toward the end of the camp and toward the next further bridge over the river. They walked silently as the sounds of the fires and shouts and the screams of frightened children receded in the distance. The bridge over the river was barely discernible in the dark. Ora and Fred thought it safe to cross the river into the city since there seemed to be no one else around.
They were wrong. As they entered the roadway leading to the bridge a lone figure emerged from the dark.
“You boys had the same idea as me,” the man said. Although it was too dark to see clearly, the sound of his voice demonstrated that he was African-American.
He fell in step with Ora and Fred. Ora cast a sideways glance at the man but his gaze revealed nothing to single out the man as being any different from the any of the other veterans in the camp. Black veterans were common throughout the camp. In a remarkable demonstration of racial equality, Blacks and Whites lived side-by-side throughout the camp, shared the same meals and the same hardships, and practically no one noticed even though the country continued to practice racial segregation.
Ora turned to the man as they walked. “Could you see what was happening? We were camped in the back and so we didn’t see or hear much before we decided to run.”
“Apparently, we made things too hot for the President. He called out the troops on us. I couldn’t believe it myself even though the policeman Glassford tole’ us they was acomin’. I waited to see what would happen. When the first troops on horseback drawed their swords and the first soldiers commenced to burn the mess tent, I decided it was time to git. Before I left I could see the soldiers with bayonets and drawn swords advancing on the camp. They looked like they meant business.”
The revelations from the Black man further stunned Ora. He looked at Fred and decided that he was equally shocked at the treatment the Bonus Army had received at the hands of the army. At the Washington end of the bridge, the men stopped to look back at the camp. All they could see were the fires. The makeshift shacks in the front row had all burned and the fire had jumped the first road and was racing along the second tier of shacks.
“I bet our shack is burning by now. “ Fred said as the three of them stared at the flames.
The black man looked hard at Ora and Fred. “So what are you fellas planning to do now?”
Ora looked at Fred as he answered for both. “We’re heading home. Back to Indiana. I think we’ve done our part, just like we did in the War, and now it’s time to go home.”